Cat Fancy Magazine
@catfancymagazine.bsky.social
Not affiliated with feline literature
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narrated by your subvocalized reading voice
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narrated by your subvocalized reading voice
Pinned
Do not embrace the Tonkinese, that was a misprint.
Candidly speaking, some people seem to dislike how arrogantly correct I always am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
January 15, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Candidly speaking, some people seem to dislike how arrogantly correct I always am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
just fyi, this is my anxiety-relief whistle. I have asthma so I use it on occasion to regulate my breathing in stressful situations... Recording my surroundings helps me track how long my episodes last.
January 15, 2026 at 8:54 PM
just fyi, this is my anxiety-relief whistle. I have asthma so I use it on occasion to regulate my breathing in stressful situations... Recording my surroundings helps me track how long my episodes last.
did you know that you can just bite people you don't like??!
January 14, 2026 at 10:13 PM
did you know that you can just bite people you don't like??!
I don’t experience happiness, I occasionally stop being depressed long enough to build furniture and clean.
January 14, 2026 at 8:40 PM
I don’t experience happiness, I occasionally stop being depressed long enough to build furniture and clean.
these are my accessibility sweat pants
January 14, 2026 at 5:03 AM
these are my accessibility sweat pants
Rhetoric is just persuasion, and I don’t care enough to change anyone’s broke-brain opinions. My only misstep was calling that vtuber a troll.. I forgot that being a vtuber, by definition, is as inauthentic as it gets and everyone already was aware
January 13, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Rhetoric is just persuasion, and I don’t care enough to change anyone’s broke-brain opinions. My only misstep was calling that vtuber a troll.. I forgot that being a vtuber, by definition, is as inauthentic as it gets and everyone already was aware
Arguing about how problematic Autistic Barbie is (and how it does nothing to improve accessibility) with a self-proclaimed Actual Autist™ who has accommodations, while I’m an undiagnosed autistic person without them, is absolute peak comedy
January 13, 2026 at 8:11 PM
Arguing about how problematic Autistic Barbie is (and how it does nothing to improve accessibility) with a self-proclaimed Actual Autist™ who has accommodations, while I’m an undiagnosed autistic person without them, is absolute peak comedy
All hail to thee
land of the free
after I get off work
land of the free
after I get off work
January 13, 2026 at 6:43 PM
All hail to thee
land of the free
after I get off work
land of the free
after I get off work
Operation Metro Surge sounds like a dollar store energy drink that promises tactical focus but just gives you asshole cancer instead
January 13, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Operation Metro Surge sounds like a dollar store energy drink that promises tactical focus but just gives you asshole cancer instead
People don’t seem to grasp the absurdity of endorsing lawmakers who intrude on the private lives, healthcare, and free speech of trans and gay folks while simultaneously accusing those communities of pushing their lifestyle. lmao
January 9, 2026 at 4:41 PM
People don’t seem to grasp the absurdity of endorsing lawmakers who intrude on the private lives, healthcare, and free speech of trans and gay folks while simultaneously accusing those communities of pushing their lifestyle. lmao
hope no one walks in while I’m sanding my fingerprints off
oh great now they’re reading this
oh great now they’re reading this
January 8, 2026 at 8:26 PM
hope no one walks in while I’m sanding my fingerprints off
oh great now they’re reading this
oh great now they’re reading this
I sneezed so hard, now I have a vignette effect on me eyeballs
December 4, 2025 at 12:34 PM
I sneezed so hard, now I have a vignette effect on me eyeballs
Establishing an interpersonal boundary with a perimeter of flames is apparently illegal. Sorry, my bad.
November 16, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Establishing an interpersonal boundary with a perimeter of flames is apparently illegal. Sorry, my bad.
Notice: Any images I post will not include descriptive alt text, because haven’t the blind suffered enough?
November 16, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Notice: Any images I post will not include descriptive alt text, because haven’t the blind suffered enough?
It would be really funny if they brought James Bond back and killed him off again.
November 13, 2025 at 8:41 PM
It would be really funny if they brought James Bond back and killed him off again.
I just slipped a disc in my neck, blew on it like a Nintendo cartridge, and slowly pushed it back into place. Now I'm completely fine!
UPDATE: Uh oh
UPDATE: Uh oh
November 13, 2025 at 3:32 AM
I just slipped a disc in my neck, blew on it like a Nintendo cartridge, and slowly pushed it back into place. Now I'm completely fine!
UPDATE: Uh oh
UPDATE: Uh oh
It’s addiction enrollment season again, and I can’t decide whether to stick with the full-coverage videogame plan or switch to a slightly cheaper one where I keep buying art supplies I’ll never use. There’s also binge drinking, but that's way too basic... hmm could get supplemental alcoholism tho
November 12, 2025 at 8:46 PM
It’s addiction enrollment season again, and I can’t decide whether to stick with the full-coverage videogame plan or switch to a slightly cheaper one where I keep buying art supplies I’ll never use. There’s also binge drinking, but that's way too basic... hmm could get supplemental alcoholism tho
Keep ascending until you reach the summit. Set down a rally flag and wait for a Portillo's Beef Bus® to spawn in. Deploy caltrops immediately to prevent escape. As soon as it's down, eat everything inside in under 30 minutes, including the driver. You will need a full group for this.
November 12, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Keep ascending until you reach the summit. Set down a rally flag and wait for a Portillo's Beef Bus® to spawn in. Deploy caltrops immediately to prevent escape. As soon as it's down, eat everything inside in under 30 minutes, including the driver. You will need a full group for this.
When someone asks how my day is going, I don't know where to start. Can I just give you the incident number and move on?
November 12, 2025 at 6:50 PM
When someone asks how my day is going, I don't know where to start. Can I just give you the incident number and move on?
I ran outta money, so I've decided to become a professional thief. How do I submit my résumé? I found a nice one on LinkedIn.
November 11, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I ran outta money, so I've decided to become a professional thief. How do I submit my résumé? I found a nice one on LinkedIn.
I kind of hope I don't have kids because I don't want to have to thoughtfully answer questions about death, suffering, or purpose (fyi "You die and you're dead", "Sometimes shit hurts forever" and "Comfort yourself accordingly") because they'd likely rebel and be an idiot anyway. Good job, sweetie.
November 10, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I kind of hope I don't have kids because I don't want to have to thoughtfully answer questions about death, suffering, or purpose (fyi "You die and you're dead", "Sometimes shit hurts forever" and "Comfort yourself accordingly") because they'd likely rebel and be an idiot anyway. Good job, sweetie.
In roughly 33 years of life, Jesus Christ never managed to build up any wealth or own property. And if his cult hadn’t taken off post-humorously, he’d just be another brokeass lost to history. Christians ended up worshipping an insane but nice guy and became like the folks who killed him. Amazing.
November 10, 2025 at 8:41 PM
In roughly 33 years of life, Jesus Christ never managed to build up any wealth or own property. And if his cult hadn’t taken off post-humorously, he’d just be another brokeass lost to history. Christians ended up worshipping an insane but nice guy and became like the folks who killed him. Amazing.
I can't wait until the AI bubble bursts and then even the machines don't have jobs anymore either lol
November 10, 2025 at 8:02 PM
I can't wait until the AI bubble bursts and then even the machines don't have jobs anymore either lol
My social skills are so bent that when someone says ‘Hey, got a minute to talk?’ my brain translates it as ‘Your time has come, I will find you and kill you.’ Still absolutely down to chat though. My home is boobytrapped and the floor is Legos. It's not paranoia, I'm just really READY.
November 6, 2025 at 7:54 AM
My social skills are so bent that when someone says ‘Hey, got a minute to talk?’ my brain translates it as ‘Your time has come, I will find you and kill you.’ Still absolutely down to chat though. My home is boobytrapped and the floor is Legos. It's not paranoia, I'm just really READY.
I don't refer to my partner as a golden retriever boyfriend because he is overly affectionate and positive, it's because he randomly gets the zoomies and knocks shit over.
November 5, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I don't refer to my partner as a golden retriever boyfriend because he is overly affectionate and positive, it's because he randomly gets the zoomies and knocks shit over.