I also started thinking about how I had to cancel my first big trip that wasn't family focused earlier in the year and I still lament how I had to miss it due to a sudden big responsibility trust onto me

I just feel like I need a break from my routine of mostly being alone but idk how to accomplish that just yet and it has this heavy feeling to it. Im sure it'll be fine eventually, I'll be fine even if I don't reach the goal I have in mind but for now it's just kinda disappointing

Along with that I think I'm ready to try dating again but it's so hard to meet new people along with just feeling kinda insecure due to stuff from my last relationship and having a crush on an old friend I was able to catch up with but I can't be with them for multiple reasons.