I have somehow managed to mix my morning coffee together into what can only be described as chocolate syrup juice.

My city just had to cancel the winter fest because of the snow. Seriously.

Crisis averted. Found it. You’re all off the hook.

I swear there was a chocolate bar in my office 20 minutes ago. My kid has not been in here and my cat can’t open the bar somebody better fess up.

I have a toothache, so I dug some aspirin out of the cabinet and took two. I don’t recall ever having purchased aspirin, so this has to be Mom’s. I checked the expiration date: June 2016. Hi mom. Miss you.

2 years since mom died and still getting mail. How do I block you in real life?

Required.

Best way to save money is to pretend you’re broke. Easiest way to save money is there is no easy way to save money. F*ck capitalism. This sucks.

I’m feeling this kind of petty this holiday season.

If someone paid me to clean my house I might actually be able to find that bowl.

My sister’s been door dashing since she was laid off at the start of the pandemic, and she just lost her food stamps, and she voted for Trump. I told her however she feels about her boy, she better get her shit together before it gets worse. It’s going to get SO MUCH WORSE.

My kid knows exactly when to ask me for Roblox money. ‘Hey mama can I have $10?’ Every two weeks.

Favrd’s down.