I went from a big-name provider to budget - and back again, because they don’t all provide visual voicemail which is a deal-breaker. But I came back to my original provider at 20% of the previous tariff price.

Done up like a kipper.

Looks like a job for... Black Bag!

Related: church bell ringing. (Specifically, change ringing.)

That right there is me waiting for the next Audio Damage online flash sale.

It’s missing the obligatory F word, so how about: “FURY AS KIER STARMER’S EX GIRLFRIEND REVEALED AS PRO-TRANS JUDGE”.

Have you, er, made history?

One for President Trump?

But is it postmodern?

Alongside that, a clear method for artists to manage their own content. The most plays I got on Spotify last month were for a track that isn't even mine, while a whole bunch of tracks I fed out via a podcast haven't been attributed to me at all. Or they kind-of have, but to the wrong Nick Rothwell.

So great that it’s day one and we are already rating different forms of Nazi salute, who knows what’s on the advent calendar for day two.