Of all the nastyass skinny cocktails, this lo cal mojito is divine
#SundayBrunch

This one is not just here for snacks.
Floofy McFloof-face is clearly figuring out the door. Am I wrong?

Happy international day drinking of the day day!
#wywh

Some people get Jesus in their toast.
I got an angry upside down monkey in my coffee.

#NotMad

Agreed!

As for nails, ask and ye shall so receive 🩷

Might be too many mimosa’d for going to the movies but go I shall bc (insert choose your own adventure ending)

Merry Day y’all 💙
Cheersing to next year and hoping everything doesn’t burn to the fucking ground, but if it does at least it wasn’t our fault probably and my nails are ready for full chaos 
#WYWH

Just received the best work email ever

I wonder if it’s Ted from Accounting and if he’ll be ok in the mailroom until I get there next week

#happyalcoholidays

I’m down. But you should know, Billy Rob, that my attitude really look like a bitch not afraid to tase a bro, feel me?

My talking to raccoons voice is ridiculous but I don’t make the rules here. Silly voice for wildlife is the law.
Also, this bebee bandit got another Rice Krispie treat, so don’t report me for cruelty.

Cats: This dum laptop needs toe bean touchscreen.

View from my deck

I didn’t know squirrels and coyotes were friends.

They’re going to play, right? RIGHT?

This is what happens when you have an instant connection with a henna tattoo artist at the state fair.

I asked & paid for just a third eye design. The more we chatted, the more she painted.

The design will fade eventually. The connection will remain.

Wanna pet my snake? 😉

I tried to resurrect a giraffe today. Failed.

Is developing super powers to reanimate murdered animals really too much to ask?

Donating today. Got merch!