This is about a 100% chance that Trump will attempt to influence the pope selection.

I believe it was Marie Antoinette who said "People can't afford essentials, and their 401K is down, let them buy a Tesla."

This just in: The President has demanded that John Mellencamp immediately update the lyrics to Little Pink Houses from THE GULF OF MEXICO, to THE GULF OF AMERICA. If this demand is not met by the end of the week Mellencamp will be immediately stripped of his rank of Cougar.

If the country wasn't actively imploding all the pomp and circumstance of the Super Bowl might carry more weight.

Elon fired the Government officials in charge of the PlayStation Network.

Just finished reading Animal Farm. Well that was depressing. Good thing it was all a work of fiction. 👍

At least we all have our priorities straight.

Republicans spend 100% of the past four years complaining about the deficit, and saying we need to close boarders and be isolationists.
Get into power: you know what we should do, WE SHOULD BUY GREENLAND!