Apropos of nothing, whomst wants to start an all-woman punk band with me called Major Threat

I've got a million things to do today so naturally I am looking at Christmas decor on Etsy for my child's dollhouse

It was jersey day last Wednesday for the pre-k "spirit week" but we didn't have any sports shirts so I just dressed her as Carmela Soprano

I excel in a workout class because I slip into eldest-daughter mode and the teacher becomes the Mommy/Daddy I need to impress so they can be proud of me 😬

I have, once again, clicked on a clothing ad only to be taken to a product page for toddler clothes

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood 8.7 on IMDB? Y'all should be ashamed

Looking back on it, Pete Davidson removing all of his tattoos was a harbinger of dark times to come

Am I washed or is music in restaurants actually too loud now

Age 3 has taken me to the emotional brink but it has also introduced some brilliant toddler-created words into my vocabulary such as:
- whobody
- boogie bag (for goody bag)
- oopsidentally

I went to the Island of Misfit Toys and everybody knew you

The only good AI is the ability to screenshot a piece of clothing someone is wearing and then find that exact brand and style on a resale site

"I just started writing [my memoir]. And it took a long time to sell it. I got a lot of rejection. The one I saved from Random House said it might be an article in Rolling Stone, but it'll never be a book. So I did save that and send him my bestseller list. Fuck him." - Pamela Des Barres

I tried to do Threads but every post was like, "What's everyone's favorite work-from-home lunch?" so here I am