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carolinampereira.bsky.social
Carolina | Looking for feedback
@carolinampereira.bsky.social
83 followers 71 following 200 posts
Born to be a writer, forced to be a software engineer | she/her | 25yo | Portugal
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carolinampereira.bsky.social
Right before their first kiss

English on alt

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I couldn't stand listening to him rattling off words like someone answering a question on an English test anymore. "I'm terrible at this, sorry." He laughed, embarrassed. "I'll help you." I took a deep breath and organized my thoughts into a sentence. It wasn't the best. Maybe it wasn't even the truest, but it was what I wanted him to hear. "Even though Vitória offended me and even though I was unfair to her..." My voice broke in anguish, as if I had a system that censored me every time my words didn't reflect my thoughts. Now, even if I wanted to, I couldn't finish the sentence. Not when Jonathan interrupted his brisk walk to block my path on the sandy path that climbed through the pine forest. I had been under his gaze countless times, but he had never looked at me with the determination with which I see him staring at the instructions on a test, the calculator screen, or an obstacle in a circus ring. We became each other's next challenge.
November 25, 2025 at 9:34 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Ryan's first time going to the beach

English on alt

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On the fifth day, there was light, separating me from the darkness. The day dawned blue and warm, with that musicality that only the summer sun knows how to sing. Our spirits lifted with the fog. The mornings spent loafing in bed and the nights at Jonathan's house playing board games were over. Ryan almost cried when he stepped onto the beach sand. He had already seen the sea the day we arrived, but it was like it were his first time again. He threw his backpack on the ground and ran to the sea, wading into the surf. The screams we thought were of euphoria were, in fact, from the thermal shock. So that Melanie would earn the right to laugh with us, we forced her to try the water. But since she's not of this world, she found the temperature tolerable.
November 24, 2025 at 9:09 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Reward after a hike in the mountains

Nonstinden, Rorbu, Lofoten, Norway

#Norway #Lofoten #photography #travel
Panoramic view from Nonstinden, Rorbu, Lofoten. Small coastal village with colourful houses, calm blue water, several marinas with boats, and rugged mountains in the distance under a bright sky with scattered clouds.
November 23, 2025 at 8:42 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Beyond global

English on alt

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"When I get rich, I'll pay for everyone's therapy." I joked. "You can drop that weight. Nothing interferes with the four Weirdos. Not even my biggest platonic crush." Tam chuckled softly. I reached out my hand to seal the pact, but she had other ideas. She pulled me into a tight hug. This time she was careful not to get my clothes dirty or break my ribs. I absorbed every second of that comfortable warmth, wishing she would never again feel even a pang of pain. However, I'm too stupid and decided to say the worst thing that could have come out of my mouth at that moment: "Whatever we call each other, promise me you won't leave me alone." "Ry…" She stroked my hair. I pressed her closer to my chest. "Nobody abandons anyone. That's also written in the universal laws of friendship." "True." I smiled again.
November 23, 2025 at 12:00 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Ryan gets a difficult job

English on alt

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"Why me? Why… why exactly?" "Because I'm not going to trust Jonathan alone this time. Because I know you can effortlessly put a smile on his face. And because I have a terrible feeling." The last words came out hoarse. "What he said yesterday was suspicious. He's clearly delusional. He starts talking about visions and all that shit." He shook his head quickly. "I don't fucking like it." My heart raced with the effort of carrying something so fragile and heavy in my inexperienced hands. I didn't feel capable of doing this. Much less after only a few months ago having started talking to Peter again. "You mentioned Jonathan. It makes sense, they've been studying together. And I realize that part of the time he's away and can't always be there for his brother." I thought aloud. "So what about your mother?" "She does what she can." He said in the same way he could have told me to shut up. "That's good. But maybe it would make more sense for you to ask Mel. They're super close. And she knows how to handle him." I heard him breathing heavily. I squeezed my legs together to keep his impatience from overcoming my need for clarification. "That's out of the question." He made that perfectly clear. "Do you really want to put a girl who believes in spirits, crystals, stars, and shit in charge of dealing with a guy who has visions of the beyond?" I shaked my head in defeat as a reply.
November 22, 2025 at 4:18 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
But baby it's cold outside

English version on alt

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It wasn't just the images forming in my mind that gave me chills. The night was too cold for the heat of the day. Maybe I should have brought a coat after all. Dan approached me with his black jacket extended toward me. "No need." I refused, somewhat embarrassed. It wasn't that I wouldn't feel good wearing his clothes again after all these years. "I'll run to the car. Thanks." "Put this on and shut up before my arm starts hurting." He insisted, colder than the air outside. I took the denim jacket and was surprised by its weight. It had a worn look, and the color was fading near the seams, but the quality was far above anything I could ever hang on my wardrobe. Despite being a hundred sizes too big for me, the comfort was indescribable. It felt like it was made of hugs and headpats.
November 21, 2025 at 10:40 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
In the context of horoscopes and compatibility of signs in love and life (and also Peter getting lost staring at Mel)

English on alt.

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"What is it?" She asked, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "Nothing." I was going to look away, but I stopped myself. Her eyes are greener than usual. "I was just thinking that I don't believe in that chart, because in no timeline would I consider myself compatible with Jonathan." "Neither would I with you." He grumbled. Melanie narrowed her eyes. She knew I was avoiding the question. Still, she played along. "As I said, there are other factors. Maybe Jonathan's ascendant will give us clues. The conjunctions of different energies…" Sensing the start of another astrological monologue, Ryan interrupted. "Mel, we all know that Jona is the product of a special cosmic alignment."
November 20, 2025 at 9:32 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
A bit lost in translation with the Portuguese version of the Ferrero Rocher ad, but it is what it is.

English on alt

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"Are you going to stand there for long?" He asked me assertively, waking me from my reverie. "Sorry, I spaced out." I was about to open the back door of the car when his voice cut through the air again. "Do I look like a butler?" He sighed before getting into the driver's seat. It took a few seconds for the necessary synapses to make me realize that there wasn't a third person in the car acting as the driver and that I was supposed to sit in the front with him. I hurried to get in before he drove off without me. I felt myself blush when I looked to the side and saw Dan gripping the steering wheel as if he were strangling a wild animal. He seemed to be murdering everything with his eyes, including my presence. I felt super self-conscious. Even the position of my feet seemed wrong.
November 19, 2025 at 4:25 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Confusing boundaries

English on alt

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Melanie laughed, more a melodic chirp than an actual laugh. She tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. That second gold hoop earring was new. “You look pretty.” I heard myself say. My mouth hung open with disbelief. With a quickness that was almost cute from how embarrassed she got, she lowered her gaze and laced her fingers together. Then she peeked at me from the corner of her eye. We both looked away at the same time. No idea what happened to us. The boundaries we'd drawn over time seemed to have receded. Or maybe they never included compliments of that kind. I don't know the rules of this game anymore. I let myself fall against a post. Maybe if I don't pay attention to it, the awkward silence will go away.
November 18, 2025 at 2:33 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Fetus Daniel already knew romance wasn't worth it

English on alt

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"Why the hell would I want anything to do with her?" He blinked quickly, annoyed. After a heavy sigh, he straightened up as if he were about to give a lecture. "Dating and crushes? No, thank you. What do you see in each other? I have better things to do than spend all my time clinging to some girl. Where's the commitment in that? It's a shitty game. That's all. Today you're head over heels for Vanessa, tomorrow you're drooling over Francisca." Now calmer, he looked at me with an apologetic gaze and grabbed my shoulders. "Sorry to shatter your dreams, but I don't plan on developing romantic feelings for anyone now, or in the next hundred years." "Hmm, hmm." I agreed sarcastically. "Never mind, one day you'll understand. I should have recorded this conversation to show you when you introduce me to your girlfriend." "Keep dreaming." "Don't tell me you're gay." I was joking, but the flame in Daniel's eyes showed that someone wasn't happy. "Say that again, Duckling." Said like that, I hate even more the name he gave me. "I only touch a guy if it's to punch him. I can start with you."
November 17, 2025 at 2:04 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
"Poor" Jonathan

English on alt

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"Show off." I threw at him, pointing with my chin at the Jaguar SUV where he was packing my bags. "If I hear that again today, next time I'll shove you all in the back of the Mini. And woe to the first one who complains." The tone urged him to slam the trunk shut with brute force, just like Daniel usually does. But the motorized latch was only meant for fake laughs and champagne glasses. I wasn't the last to arrive. I saw Ryan crossing the street with what must have been the most fluorescent trolley in the universe. He started running when he saw us, waking up the entire neighborhood with the noise of the wheels on the cement. "Wow. What a cruiser." Ryan commented, while we waited for the trunk to open, again in his ridiculously slow and pompous way. Jonathan turned his back, pinching his nose.
November 16, 2025 at 10:43 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Gotta get back to editing this chapter.

English on alt

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"Maybe you're right," I started, feeling annoyed at Melanie’s reaction. "But are you sure you’re speaking from the heart? What you said felt way too rational. You think that’s normal? You think it’s ok for him to do that to you? Or basically do that right in front of her boyfriend?" "I thought you said you didn’t really know what kind of relationship that girl had with your friend. Maybe they’re in an open thing, maybe there’s no motivation to keep exclusivity…" Melanie looked frustrated at having her train of thought interrupted again. "There you go, assumptions. And if I got it right, you just want your dose of drama so you don’t feel alone in this fight you have going on against the male gender. As much as I want to help you, it’s gonna have to be in another way. I’m not jealous. I don’t own Peter. Contrary to what people think, we’re just friends. I don’t have a crush on him, I don’t see him like that." She shrugged and smiled. "Honestly, I was even happy about what you told me. It’s a sign of solid progress that he can let himself be that vulnerable around someone. I’d like to meet her and thank her."
November 15, 2025 at 9:10 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Some tarot reading

English on alt

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We only stopped laughing when Mel threw three cards down in front of me. She flipped them over one by one, dragging out the suspense for no reason. "The stars say Ryan’s in trouble." Mel announced. "These cards are worrying, even for someone who doesn’t believe in them. What the hell is this anyway?" I grabbed the middle card and read the name. "The Hanged Man? Jesus Christ." "No, Jesus Christ was crucified." I looked at her with a flat smile, doing my best not to crack up. Mel had stolen my joke. "The Hanged Man, the Devil, and the Lovers." Mel whistled. "Time for you to change your surroundings before you bury yourself in dangerous romances." "That reading’s a week late, Mel." I leaned back, still holding the card. The guy in the illustration didn’t look bothered at all. He just hung there, smiling like he’d found peace in the middle of chaos. "A bit of adrenaline in love is always good. Besides, I’ve already changed my perspective." "Trust the stars." Mel insisted, with that mysterious tone that always makes me want to laugh.
November 14, 2025 at 10:51 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
From yesterday's session

EN on alt

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I discovered that I didn't need to tire myself out deciding what to do about Jonathan's invitation after all. The decision the majority made was also my decision. Democracy at its best, except nobody consulted me about it. Oh well, that's what you get when you abstain. Now I have Jonathan standing outside the building waiting for the elevator to cooperate so I can go down. It's the first time I've used the elevator. I don't have the energy to go down three flights of stairs with a backpack and a trolley. With a jolt, the elevator door opened, revealing a flickering white light and a mirror covered in fingerprints. I got in, dragging the trolley behind me. For some reason, perhaps related to having only slept three hours, I hesitated between pressing 1 or 0. I should have realized sooner that the fact that the 0 button was green was a clue. I ended up on the wrong floor. To make matters worse, someone from the 1st floor was also waiting for the elevator, so I had to endure the awkward interaction that followed.
November 13, 2025 at 11:05 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Finally found the right title for this chapter

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Vanessa guided us to where Jonathan would be. We entered through one of the double rows of stalls. The space was cramped and improvised with a cloth awning and black rubber flooring that intensified the smells in the hot air. Grooms and riders walked back and forth with tack, feed, and some focused and tired faces. An orchestra of hooves, creaking harnesses, snaps opening and closing, and the low hum of conversations filled the already heavy atmosphere. It was hard to imagine Jonathan decompressing in this place. The horses themselves, still recovering from the adrenaline, were restless, anxious to get out of there. The worst part is that they still have a trailer trip ahead of them. Almost at the end of the corridor, we found Jonathan with the groom. Already without his coat, he was wearing a white polo shirt stuck to his skin with sweat, and his hair was flat. He was unfastening Kris's girth while the groom prepared a bucket and shampoo. We hesitated at the entrance to the pit, unsure whether we should interrupt the post-competition choreography.
November 12, 2025 at 6:38 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
I thought I had nothing for today. Turns out I forgot this gem.

English on alt text

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"I thought you were tired of me and were going to drop me off at home." I commented, uncomfortable with Dan's preference for shortcuts and back roads. "Where are we going?" "There's a clearing up ahead that's good for me to test my butcher knife, y'know? I'll slice you like a meat loaf. I'll soak you in gasoline and drop a lighter. Accidentally." Dan said this with chilling nonchalance. His impassive expression sent a chill down my spine, leaving me breathless, unsure if he was joking or not. Our Father who art in Heaven… Dan glanced at me sideways with a twisted smile. I slid back in my seat and closed my eyes to pray more earnestly. I heard an energetic laugh and opened one eye to see him almost crying with laughter. "For fuck's sake, Ry! You too?" He exclaimed, and laughed again at my terrified face. "Does everyone think I'm crazy now?"
November 11, 2025 at 9:15 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Diogo makes his accent his whole personality sometimes

English on alt

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“Since we’re on the topic of speech, you’ve got a bit of an accent.” Peter noted, as if to justify the misunderstanding. “Sometimes it gets stronger, in a sort of pattern.” “Oh! So you even noticed a pattern? Go on then, share the findings of your research on my accent.” I did my best impression of the most stereotypical regional accent from back home. Even I cringed at how bad it sounded and silently apologized to everyone I’d just offended with that ridiculous attempt. “When you talk to Jonathan or Vanessa, you don’t even try to hide it.” “I never hide it.” I countered, matching Peter’s tone. “When you’re trying to be funny.” “‘Trying’? Ouch.” “And also when you’re caught off guard.” Peter finished, ignoring my protests.
November 10, 2025 at 9:30 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Ryan taking a picture of the twins

English on alt

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"Take the picture." He ordered. I obeyed, swallowing the urge to complain that they preferred a boring concrete wall to using the rainbow as a backdrop. Dan positioned himself in front of the camera, slightly tense, his hands in his pockets as if he realized he didn't know what to do with them. Peter joined him next, running his hand through his wavy hair, that melancholy reminder of what Dan's natural hairstyle might have been if protocol hadn't imposed a buzz cut on him. He took a step towards his brother, which was enough to soften his posture. He placed a hand on his shoulder, giving the frame the naturalness it lacked. I pretended to test the best composition on my phone screen, but in reality, I was studying them. The complicity between the two had a tragic flavor, or perhaps I was reading too much between the lines. Dan's words continued to echo inside me. I felt a knot in my stomach imagining that this could simultaneously be the first and last happy, relaxed photo of the two of them for a long time.
November 9, 2025 at 8:26 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Dan being Dan

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“You know that feeling when you’re standing somewhere really high and look down? That vertigo mixed with a morbid curiosity that keeps your eyes glued to the ground below?” I looked at Dan, who didn’t seem to be listening to me at all. “The closer I get to you, the more aware I am of my fear of heights. And yet, I step right up to the edge of the skyscraper and look down. I want to see the world from above. It helps me realize how small my problems are when put into perspective.” “I was about to make the mandatory joke about Jona, but I think you’ve already crossed the line.” Dan went back to his rigid posture. “Using me to put your stress in perspective? Fuck off.” “I don’t want to use you. I want to understand you.” “You want to get fucked. Seriously. All I ever see is you hurting yourself in the process.” He buried his face in his hands and muttered. “Why do I only surround myself with people who harm themselves?” “As if you don’t do the same.”
November 8, 2025 at 10:36 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
CW: death of loved ones

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“Was it your father who bought Pantaloon?” Kraus asked, leaning his body slightly toward me. “Y-yes.” I swallowed hard. “He’s involved in the equestrian world as well?” I knew where the conversation was headed. I didn’t pay attention to what my grandfather answered, once he realized there was no point in waiting for a reply from me. My heart weighed heavy in my chest, filling my ears until nothing they said could reach me. I fixed my gaze on the arena before us. The white Range Rover parked by a pair of obstacles blinded me. “My condolences.” The stiffness of his accent only made the words sound harsher. It had been so long since I’d heard that. I don’t even know what one is supposed to say back anymore. I nodded. A low-key movement that said nothing of the dark cloud they’d just blown over me.
November 7, 2025 at 5:12 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Highly equestrian chapter

English version on alt text

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“Come on, love!” Vanessa shouted, unafraid of throwing him off balance. Suddenly, the jump looked twice as high. Kris seemed to soar in slow motion before my eyes, the loose stirrup catching the sunlight. An almost horizontal leap. I imagined myself there, leaning over the mare’s neck, looking down at the ground below. A shiver ran through me. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to mentally get off that horse. That’s not me up there. The ground trembled, reminding me my feet were still firmly planted. Another clean jump. In a long, stretching gallop, they moved on toward the final fences. I glanced at the timer. It seemed impossible to beat the record, but nothing was lost yet. A break in the rhythm of hooves. Two strides. Another pause. Applause between strides. Another pause. The green-and-white triple was already behind them. Before the applause came a shared sigh of relief. I looked at the clock. 72.61 seconds. An excellent time, but 0.2 seconds too long to dethrone Amanda.
November 6, 2025 at 2:45 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Lost in the blur

English on alt

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"Where do you want to go?" He asked me when we stopped at the intersection with the road that borders the neighborhood. "Y-you're the one who invited me. Besides, you're the one driving." I passed him the responsibility of deciding. "It's not like I know what I'm doing in a car alone with you after all this time." "You're free to get out. Just don't do it while we're rolling." We set off again with a roar disproportionate to the acceleration. Dan decided to turn left, which meant we were going to stop in the city center. I was distracted by the view out the window. The continuous dark gray of the road transformed into an abstract trail as we moved, interrupted now and then by white blurs. The rest were streets monotonously delineated by brick facades, occasionally illuminated by flickering signs. Only further ahead would the surroundings gain a more lively and colorful atmosphere.
November 5, 2025 at 2:39 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
One of my favourite snips

English on alt

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Leaning against this same railing was our father, still in uniform, but with a radiant smile. He bent down as soon as he saw us. He laughed as he called out to us. We ran to him as if there were no tomorrow and almost knocked him over in the process. That hug was the best thing in the world. It didn't matter if it was raining, if it was cold, if I was tired of asking my brother to relax. Everything was fine. It seems like a memory from a distant life. That's why I don't blame Peter for getting lost between parallel universes. The more we think about it, the more fictional the past becomes. It was just a dramatic movie we saw, a story we were told. I ran my hand over the metal of the railing respectfully. The chipped paint made the texture uneven. Time corrodes any evidence of the presence of those who pass through here. But I know he was here.
November 4, 2025 at 9:22 AM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Peter being nice. Vanessa saying "Nice".
Wrote this yesterday.

English translation on alt text.

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Vanessa took a sip, letting out an involuntary “ahhh” of satisfaction at the end. “Didn’t even realize how thirsty I was. You’re an angel.” I smiled back at her before allowing myself the indulgence of the soda. As I drank, my eyes scanned the screen. Two more riders before Jonathan. “So, what’s your verdict?” Vanessa asked between sips. “It’s not every day I have someone next to me I’m not embarrassed to ask stupid questions about this.” “I’m no expert, tho.” I said, scratching my head. “So far, the leading time looks totally doable for Jonathan as long as everything goes smoothly.” “Nice. I don’t feel like having to comfort him. He’s can be such a pain when he loses.” “I know.” I laughed. “For your sake, let’s root for him.”
November 3, 2025 at 12:25 PM
carolinampereira.bsky.social
Tender moments with Ryan on the toilet (plus cute aggression)

English on alt

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I leaned against the cabin wall and looked up at the ceiling. I couldn’t stay still. My attention jumped from web to web, all to avoid facing Tam’s crying. I thought I was here to comfort her. I took a deep breath and repeated to myself what brought me here. “Sorry, I’m terrible at this.” I said, then wrapped her in a tight hug. I ran my hand through her hair, now half undone. It smelled nice, it was soft. I slid one hand down to her back and kept patting her like she was a fluffy little rabbit in my arms. A very scared and sad, but fluffy rabbit. So much that I wanted to squeeze her until she turned into a tiny ball I could keep in my pocket and take home. “Why are you doing this?” She asked, her voice muffled against my body. “Because I care about you.”
November 2, 2025 at 11:37 AM