A cave that operates as a spiritual shower.

A library that lends out historical cosplay uniforms and scene co-stars at will.

A squishy painting that mimics the expression of the shyest person in the room.

Mittens that subtly massage your hands while keeping them warm and safe.

An inflatable blanket that blows up around you like a cocoon.

A wool hat that lights itself on fire when it’s time to leave.

A pair of sunglasses that counts the time when you get angry. If you reach one hundred and ninety seconds, they start humming “The Thong Song” just loud enough for you to hear.

A false ring finger that holds an airhorn for when you need it.

A labret piercing that spins and flashes daily, warning everyone when it’s Noodle Time.

A tiny drone creature that follows you around and hums the “Full House” theme in your ear, just when you’ve forgotten it.