Happy Pride
month.

Tell my Custodes I will temporarily be taking a leave from my post. Apparently "I will stab you" is registered as a threat, even when used in a humorous context.

Contrary to popular Custodes belief, combat training does not correspond to "sit still and wait for Valdor to beat the everliving snot out of you". I fully expect you to at least attempt to do the same with me.

We don't talk about that.

Contrary to popular belief, no, that scroll I carry into battle is not for writing down Custodian failures, but for tactical reasons. Post-combat taxes are one of them.

A word from their Captain-General: Custodians caught attempting to mount a backscratcher to their Guardian Spear will be shot on sight.

"Only in death does duty end" is not a valid reason for forgoing your paperwork, Goldnaughts.

I am not available for Remembrancer meetings. Remembrancers, please do not interact unless you have the following:
- The Emperor
- My coffee mug
- a certificate of recommendation from the Custodes

And are lacking the following:
- A restraining order from the Custodes
- Heretical tendencies
- Horus

Training with me only ends in case of an emergency. Death is not an emergency.

Well.
I suppose I'm here now.
Custodes, I expect your paperwork to be completed before midnight today.
With regards,
Constantin Valdor