If Greg Abbott won’t even stand up for the disabled, what will he stand for?

If the Leon Branch absorbs the executive and legislative branches, as is currently happening, wouldn’t that leave us with just two branches?

At this point, we’re just a couple of weeks out from Americans booing the US national anthem en masse.

Can you at least take back Ted Cruz while you’re at it? Pretty please?

Whether it’s wages and employment increasing across the board under Joe Biden, or donald trump facilitating total economic collapse with tariffs on allies, both parties have an economy problem.

The silver lining is that we’re back to measuring terms of office in Scaramuccis, and Hegseth will be too drunk to last till March. The bad news is, his successor could very well be MTG, Ted Bundy’s reanimated corpse, or Kim Jong Un.

Whether it’s trump repeatedly praising Hitler and pardoning hundreds of violent neo-Nazis or Democrats sharply criticizing Elon Musk’s Nazi salute, Joe Biden and the Democratic Party clearly need to get their Nazi problem under control.

Sadly, neither were we.

High School Confidential

The House ethics report that Matt Gaetz has done a whole lotta shakin’ of his great balls of fire with underage girls leaves us so breathless that even the late, great teenage-girl lady ‘Killer’ Jerry Lee Lewis would be screamin’, “Goodness gracious!”

by Maureen Dowd

Not all of them pay for sex. A lot of them simply prey on children instead.

And when Mon Mothma goes on to accept a sweet gig on Womp Rat News where she immediately starts heckling the Resistance as a bunch of fucking losers.

I figured it was Elon nervously deploying his algorithm to distract the public with a hoax about mysterious drones because a member of the oligarchy just had his claim publicly adjusted by a vigilante in Manhattan and the entire country, left and right, united in celebration.