Eight years ago I tweeted that the US was celebrating the Year of the Rooster by putting an enormous cock in charge of everything. This year is the Year of the Snake, which is why these days I generally just shut the fuck up instead

The speech-to-text app we use at work kept transcribing the word "tariffs" as "terrorists". "We've had some warning that terrorists are coming," etc. At least our AI is editorialising amusingly

I've largely given up on keeping my sanity intact and have chosen to concentrate on keeping my insanity tactful

I tend to remember dreams that I’ve been woken up from. So irritating when it’s a murder mystery musical. My character had just ad libbed a really good rhyme, too

A few days ago a social media friend casually mentioned that they had no idea why the song Sausolito Summernight had started going through their head non-stop. Well, now I know why it started going through mine, so thanks for that, buddy

Our speech-to-text generator at work cannot be blamed for the fact that this toy is named “Cookeez Makery Freezy Cakez”, but somebody definitely needs to be