Jessica
@canadianhopefarmer.bsky.social
Sowing hopium seeds in the land of the maple trees 🍁🇨🇦♥️
🚨BREAKING: Alberta may secede over roads and healthcare, Pierre moves west to cosplay as a cowboy, and I—your Canadian Hope Farmer™—have thoughts.
📍New post: “Alberta = Free!!! (Apparently)”
It’s satire. It’s serious. It’s a survival guide.
🌾🧵👇
substack.com/@canadianhop...
📍New post: “Alberta = Free!!! (Apparently)”
It’s satire. It’s serious. It’s a survival guide.
🌾🧵👇
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Jessica Jones on Substack
🚨 Alberta wants out (again). Pierre’s heading west to rebrand as the Cowboy of Constitutional Chaos. And I wrote about all of it.
Includes: satire, serious advice, a crayon map, and a reminder that h...
substack.com
May 16, 2025 at 7:43 PM
🚨BREAKING: Alberta may secede over roads and healthcare, Pierre moves west to cosplay as a cowboy, and I—your Canadian Hope Farmer™—have thoughts.
📍New post: “Alberta = Free!!! (Apparently)”
It’s satire. It’s serious. It’s a survival guide.
🌾🧵👇
substack.com/@canadianhop...
📍New post: “Alberta = Free!!! (Apparently)”
It’s satire. It’s serious. It’s a survival guide.
🌾🧵👇
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Guess who’s back after a brief existential spiral? 🙋🏻♀️
I took some time off because the world felt unhinged — and turns out, it still is! So I wrote about it. For anyone trying to stay politically awake without yeeting themselves into the sea, here ya go!
substack.com/@canadianhop...
I took some time off because the world felt unhinged — and turns out, it still is! So I wrote about it. For anyone trying to stay politically awake without yeeting themselves into the sea, here ya go!
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Mindfulness for the Politically Overstimulated
When burnout is a feature, not a bug, here’s how to be strategic with your energy and not feel bad about it.
substack.com
May 13, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Guess who’s back after a brief existential spiral? 🙋🏻♀️
I took some time off because the world felt unhinged — and turns out, it still is! So I wrote about it. For anyone trying to stay politically awake without yeeting themselves into the sea, here ya go!
substack.com/@canadianhop...
I took some time off because the world felt unhinged — and turns out, it still is! So I wrote about it. For anyone trying to stay politically awake without yeeting themselves into the sea, here ya go!
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Pierre didn’t get in. The Liberals scraped by. The fire’s not out — just contained.
This wasn’t a win so much as a warning.
Here’s what happened, what’s next, and why we can’t check out now.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
This wasn’t a win so much as a warning.
Here’s what happened, what’s next, and why we can’t check out now.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Canada Chose: Kinda, Sorta, Barely
An election post-mortem from someone who’s tired, wired, and still cautiously hopeful.
substack.com
April 30, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Pierre didn’t get in. The Liberals scraped by. The fire’s not out — just contained.
This wasn’t a win so much as a warning.
Here’s what happened, what’s next, and why we can’t check out now.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
This wasn’t a win so much as a warning.
Here’s what happened, what’s next, and why we can’t check out now.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Happy Election Day!
If voting feels like trying to fix a crumbling house while someone sets the kitchen on fire — you’re not alone.
New post up: They’re Eating the Checks. They’re Eating the Balances.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
If voting feels like trying to fix a crumbling house while someone sets the kitchen on fire — you’re not alone.
New post up: They’re Eating the Checks. They’re Eating the Balances.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
They’re Eating the Checks. They’re Eating the Balances
You can’t balance democracy on a pile of conspiracy memes, Brenda.
substack.com
April 28, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Happy Election Day!
If voting feels like trying to fix a crumbling house while someone sets the kitchen on fire — you’re not alone.
New post up: They’re Eating the Checks. They’re Eating the Balances.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
If voting feels like trying to fix a crumbling house while someone sets the kitchen on fire — you’re not alone.
New post up: They’re Eating the Checks. They’re Eating the Balances.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Politics isn’t about finding a hero.
It’s about limiting the harm.
And this time? The choice is actually pretty clear.
New post up:
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
It’s about limiting the harm.
And this time? The choice is actually pretty clear.
New post up:
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
The Lesser of Two Evils Is Still Less Evil: Platform Edition
I read the platforms so you don’t have to – A spicy guide to who wins, who loses, and who’s being played.
substack.com
April 25, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Politics isn’t about finding a hero.
It’s about limiting the harm.
And this time? The choice is actually pretty clear.
New post up:
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
It’s about limiting the harm.
And this time? The choice is actually pretty clear.
New post up:
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
You don’t get to ignore the smoke and act surprised by the fire.
New piece on what Canada should be learning from the U.S.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
New piece on what Canada should be learning from the U.S.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
This Is How It Starts
Warning: Objects in mirror are Trumpier than they appear.
substack.com
April 24, 2025 at 12:48 AM
You don’t get to ignore the smoke and act surprised by the fire.
New piece on what Canada should be learning from the U.S.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
New piece on what Canada should be learning from the U.S.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
I questioned my own beliefs - and I think more of us should.
New substack on disinformation, conspiracy, and staying grounded when reality fractures.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
New substack on disinformation, conspiracy, and staying grounded when reality fractures.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
What’s on the Other Side of the Rabbit Hole?
Spoiler: it’s us – scared, angry, and trying to make sense of the chaos.
substack.com
April 21, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I questioned my own beliefs - and I think more of us should.
New substack on disinformation, conspiracy, and staying grounded when reality fractures.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
New substack on disinformation, conspiracy, and staying grounded when reality fractures.
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Every spring, I emotionally imprint on a falcon livestream and let a pair of murder floofs remind me how to survive our world.
This year, we’re processing politics, burnout, and the quiet miracle of not giving up.
🪶 It’s funny. It’s tender. It’s bird girl spring.
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
This year, we’re processing politics, burnout, and the quiet miracle of not giving up.
🪶 It’s funny. It’s tender. It’s bird girl spring.
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
Lessons From a Nest: Watching Falcons Take Care of Their Own Better Than Most Governments
Because apparently all I needed to calm down was to watch some murderbirds cuddle.
substack.com
April 20, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Every spring, I emotionally imprint on a falcon livestream and let a pair of murder floofs remind me how to survive our world.
This year, we’re processing politics, burnout, and the quiet miracle of not giving up.
🪶 It’s funny. It’s tender. It’s bird girl spring.
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
This year, we’re processing politics, burnout, and the quiet miracle of not giving up.
🪶 It’s funny. It’s tender. It’s bird girl spring.
🔗 substack.com/@canadianhop...
If you feel politically lost, disillusioned, or just plain tired—you’re not alone.
For all of the hopeful skeptics, reluctant voters, and anyone still trying to care in a world that makes it really hard, this one is for you 🫶🫂💜
substack.com/@canadianhop...
For all of the hopeful skeptics, reluctant voters, and anyone still trying to care in a world that makes it really hard, this one is for you 🫶🫂💜
substack.com/@canadianhop...
The Lesser Evil Is Still Less Evil
This isn’t optimism. It’s strategy, because I would like to keep voting in the future.
substack.com
April 16, 2025 at 12:48 AM
If you feel politically lost, disillusioned, or just plain tired—you’re not alone.
For all of the hopeful skeptics, reluctant voters, and anyone still trying to care in a world that makes it really hard, this one is for you 🫶🫂💜
substack.com/@canadianhop...
For all of the hopeful skeptics, reluctant voters, and anyone still trying to care in a world that makes it really hard, this one is for you 🫶🫂💜
substack.com/@canadianhop...
I wrote this piece to work through that feeling. It’s about Pierre’s Conservative platform, what’s in it, and why I think we could be on the brink of making a massive mistake.
If you’re undecided, overwhelmed, or unsure—this one’s for you.🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
If you’re undecided, overwhelmed, or unsure—this one’s for you.🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Pissing Into a Fan: Canadian Edition
It’s all fun and games until we start copying America’s worst ideas.
substack.com
April 12, 2025 at 10:59 PM
I wrote this piece to work through that feeling. It’s about Pierre’s Conservative platform, what’s in it, and why I think we could be on the brink of making a massive mistake.
If you’re undecided, overwhelmed, or unsure—this one’s for you.🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
If you’re undecided, overwhelmed, or unsure—this one’s for you.🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Lately I’ve felt that slow, sneaky pull of apathy.
Not burnout. Not anger. Just… why bother?
So I wrote through it.
This one’s about numbness, joy, rebellion, and why hope still matters—even when it feels foolish.
🇨🇦🫂💜🫶
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Not burnout. Not anger. Just… why bother?
So I wrote through it.
This one’s about numbness, joy, rebellion, and why hope still matters—even when it feels foolish.
🇨🇦🫂💜🫶
substack.com/@canadianhop...
This Little Light of Mine (Is Tired but Still On)
Why giving a damn is the only radical act left.
substack.com
April 10, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Lately I’ve felt that slow, sneaky pull of apathy.
Not burnout. Not anger. Just… why bother?
So I wrote through it.
This one’s about numbness, joy, rebellion, and why hope still matters—even when it feels foolish.
🇨🇦🫂💜🫶
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Not burnout. Not anger. Just… why bother?
So I wrote through it.
This one’s about numbness, joy, rebellion, and why hope still matters—even when it feels foolish.
🇨🇦🫂💜🫶
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Turns out those pesky North American House Hippos haven’t just been stealing our peanut butter. Now they are running bot farms too!
#CDNpoli
🦛🇨🇦🍁
substack.com/@canadianhop...
#CDNpoli
🦛🇨🇦🍁
substack.com/@canadianhop...
The North American House Hippos Have Found A New Home: Parliament
Do you remember the North American House Hippo?
substack.com
March 25, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Turns out those pesky North American House Hippos haven’t just been stealing our peanut butter. Now they are running bot farms too!
#CDNpoli
🦛🇨🇦🍁
substack.com/@canadianhop...
#CDNpoli
🦛🇨🇦🍁
substack.com/@canadianhop...
What do you get when you combine MAGA and maple syrup?
The Canadian Conservative Party.
🍁🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
The Canadian Conservative Party.
🍁🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
D.A.R.V.O – Deny Affiliation, Rebrand Voters, Omit the Past: Pierre’s Maple MAGA Problem
Ah, the sweet smell of political backpedaling.
substack.com
March 23, 2025 at 11:53 PM
What do you get when you combine MAGA and maple syrup?
The Canadian Conservative Party.
🍁🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
The Canadian Conservative Party.
🍁🇨🇦
substack.com/@canadianhop...
Happy Monday friends! Don’t forget: dooming is lazy and being hopeful is a practice! ♥️🫶🌱🇨🇦
November 25, 2024 at 9:55 AM
Happy Monday friends! Don’t forget: dooming is lazy and being hopeful is a practice! ♥️🫶🌱🇨🇦