C.A. Monks
@camonks.bsky.social
Author of Undeadwood and Welcome to Stormsport.
The only two things stopping me from playing the lute for the London Philharmonic Orchestra is:
1. They don't have a lute player position available
and
2. I can't play the lute.
The only two things stopping me from playing the lute for the London Philharmonic Orchestra is:
1. They don't have a lute player position available
and
2. I can't play the lute.
Landscape in oils on canvas.
Liquin. Prussian blue, paynes grey, burnt sienna, vandyke brown, lemon yellow, white.
Liquin. Prussian blue, paynes grey, burnt sienna, vandyke brown, lemon yellow, white.
October 18, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Landscape in oils on canvas.
Liquin. Prussian blue, paynes grey, burnt sienna, vandyke brown, lemon yellow, white.
Liquin. Prussian blue, paynes grey, burnt sienna, vandyke brown, lemon yellow, white.
"An author must have a social media platform to get a publishing deal." - George Orwell, 23rd October 1984.
October 17, 2025 at 11:18 PM
"An author must have a social media platform to get a publishing deal." - George Orwell, 23rd October 1984.
Today, someone accused me of being woke.
Yeah. Thanks for the compliment.
Yeah. Thanks for the compliment.
October 17, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Today, someone accused me of being woke.
Yeah. Thanks for the compliment.
Yeah. Thanks for the compliment.
Everybody is a fucking idiot.
You, me, them, everybody.
Realise, compensate, THINK!
You, me, them, everybody.
Realise, compensate, THINK!
October 4, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Everybody is a fucking idiot.
You, me, them, everybody.
Realise, compensate, THINK!
You, me, them, everybody.
Realise, compensate, THINK!
I'd planned to write today. Yesterday, I mentally prepared myself to have a long 7-8 hour writing session on my new novel.
So, naturally, I painted this instead...
So, naturally, I painted this instead...
September 16, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I'd planned to write today. Yesterday, I mentally prepared myself to have a long 7-8 hour writing session on my new novel.
So, naturally, I painted this instead...
So, naturally, I painted this instead...
July 8, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Olivia Rodrigo has a new fan. I'm going to add her to the list of women I'm totally in love with.
Currently: 109,783.
Currently: 109,783.
totally.in
June 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Olivia Rodrigo has a new fan. I'm going to add her to the list of women I'm totally in love with.
Currently: 109,783.
Currently: 109,783.
If you go back a million minutes, you're in February.
If you go back a billion minutes you're in the 1990's.
If you go back a trillion minutes, you're arguing with God about the shape of mountains.
(Nb: some of this might be mostly inaccurate)
If you go back a billion minutes you're in the 1990's.
If you go back a trillion minutes, you're arguing with God about the shape of mountains.
(Nb: some of this might be mostly inaccurate)
If.you
June 28, 2025 at 11:13 PM
If you go back a million minutes, you're in February.
If you go back a billion minutes you're in the 1990's.
If you go back a trillion minutes, you're arguing with God about the shape of mountains.
(Nb: some of this might be mostly inaccurate)
If you go back a billion minutes you're in the 1990's.
If you go back a trillion minutes, you're arguing with God about the shape of mountains.
(Nb: some of this might be mostly inaccurate)
Watched a bit of #Glastonbury on TV. So far, the highlights have been Wet Leg, Franz Ferdinand, and Neil Young.
So talented, but they make it look so effortless.
So talented, but they make it look so effortless.
June 28, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Watched a bit of #Glastonbury on TV. So far, the highlights have been Wet Leg, Franz Ferdinand, and Neil Young.
So talented, but they make it look so effortless.
So talented, but they make it look so effortless.
I'm getting a weird sensation that i should write a biography of the Austrian singer Falco.
I'm trying to ignore the signs. My efforts aren't working.
I'm trying to ignore the signs. My efforts aren't working.
June 28, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I'm getting a weird sensation that i should write a biography of the Austrian singer Falco.
I'm trying to ignore the signs. My efforts aren't working.
I'm trying to ignore the signs. My efforts aren't working.
Neil Young just has that ge nay say quwa.
(Pardon my French)
He is a fucking legend, though.
(Pardon my French)
He is a fucking legend, though.
June 28, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Neil Young just has that ge nay say quwa.
(Pardon my French)
He is a fucking legend, though.
(Pardon my French)
He is a fucking legend, though.
Oh, I'm so ahead of the curve...
I thought rod stewart was a twat yonks ago. His songs are crap, his style is crap, his personality is crap.
Quite frankly, I was hoping for the apocalypse only for the reason that he lives relatively close to me and I'd be justified using him as food in an emergency
I thought rod stewart was a twat yonks ago. His songs are crap, his style is crap, his personality is crap.
Quite frankly, I was hoping for the apocalypse only for the reason that he lives relatively close to me and I'd be justified using him as food in an emergency
June 28, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Oh, I'm so ahead of the curve...
I thought rod stewart was a twat yonks ago. His songs are crap, his style is crap, his personality is crap.
Quite frankly, I was hoping for the apocalypse only for the reason that he lives relatively close to me and I'd be justified using him as food in an emergency
I thought rod stewart was a twat yonks ago. His songs are crap, his style is crap, his personality is crap.
Quite frankly, I was hoping for the apocalypse only for the reason that he lives relatively close to me and I'd be justified using him as food in an emergency
I'm willing to give bluesky a proper go, but the engagement level is woeful.
This is probably a waste of my time.
This is probably a waste of my time.
June 14, 2025 at 8:43 PM
I'm willing to give bluesky a proper go, but the engagement level is woeful.
This is probably a waste of my time.
This is probably a waste of my time.
Flooding the zone with shit is a media strategy designed to wear you out.
Every media conduit is either a commercial entity or mimics a commercial entity.
The answer is simple:
Stop consuming. Stop watching. Stop participating. Stop giving them what they want.
Every media conduit is either a commercial entity or mimics a commercial entity.
The answer is simple:
Stop consuming. Stop watching. Stop participating. Stop giving them what they want.
June 14, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Flooding the zone with shit is a media strategy designed to wear you out.
Every media conduit is either a commercial entity or mimics a commercial entity.
The answer is simple:
Stop consuming. Stop watching. Stop participating. Stop giving them what they want.
Every media conduit is either a commercial entity or mimics a commercial entity.
The answer is simple:
Stop consuming. Stop watching. Stop participating. Stop giving them what they want.
Oh Saint Jebus, I'm so tired.
Please Gad, lit ma schleep tonickt an eel love you forever. I jist wanna me brain back.
Please Gad, lit ma schleep tonickt an eel love you forever. I jist wanna me brain back.
June 8, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Oh Saint Jebus, I'm so tired.
Please Gad, lit ma schleep tonickt an eel love you forever. I jist wanna me brain back.
Please Gad, lit ma schleep tonickt an eel love you forever. I jist wanna me brain back.
Social media tip:
The instant your interlocutor starts trying to initiate an argument, leave the chat.
If you've got some bedevilment about you, you can garnish your departure with "LOL, you're a c**t!" But that's entirely up to you.
And that concludes my TED talk.
The instant your interlocutor starts trying to initiate an argument, leave the chat.
If you've got some bedevilment about you, you can garnish your departure with "LOL, you're a c**t!" But that's entirely up to you.
And that concludes my TED talk.
June 8, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Social media tip:
The instant your interlocutor starts trying to initiate an argument, leave the chat.
If you've got some bedevilment about you, you can garnish your departure with "LOL, you're a c**t!" But that's entirely up to you.
And that concludes my TED talk.
The instant your interlocutor starts trying to initiate an argument, leave the chat.
If you've got some bedevilment about you, you can garnish your departure with "LOL, you're a c**t!" But that's entirely up to you.
And that concludes my TED talk.
John Donne never met me.
Though that was probably my fault.
Though that was probably my fault.
June 5, 2025 at 7:21 AM
John Donne never met me.
Though that was probably my fault.
Though that was probably my fault.
Oh, here, have a picture of Valetta in Malta, you deserve it.
June 2, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Oh, here, have a picture of Valetta in Malta, you deserve it.
Okay, God, brass tacks... there's a few things you can improve upon. If you want to retain your reputation of infallibility, you'll have to pull your socks up.
Err...
Amen.
Err...
Amen.
May 31, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Okay, God, brass tacks... there's a few things you can improve upon. If you want to retain your reputation of infallibility, you'll have to pull your socks up.
Err...
Amen.
Err...
Amen.
I can't wait to finish my current novel because I'm compelled to write the next one.
After 4 novels, I considered taking a year off. That thought lasted half a day.
After 4 novels, I considered taking a year off. That thought lasted half a day.
May 31, 2025 at 8:35 PM
I can't wait to finish my current novel because I'm compelled to write the next one.
After 4 novels, I considered taking a year off. That thought lasted half a day.
After 4 novels, I considered taking a year off. That thought lasted half a day.
Hey, humanity, you just go ahead and put pineapple on anything you like. Don't allow people to limit you.
a man is carrying a pizza box into a garage next to a red truck .
ALT: a man is carrying a pizza box into a garage next to a red truck .
media.tenor.com
May 31, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Hey, humanity, you just go ahead and put pineapple on anything you like. Don't allow people to limit you.
Writing can be cathartic.
Editing is nailing your plums to a desk and seeing how far you can run before you start screaming.
Editing is nailing your plums to a desk and seeing how far you can run before you start screaming.
May 17, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Writing can be cathartic.
Editing is nailing your plums to a desk and seeing how far you can run before you start screaming.
Editing is nailing your plums to a desk and seeing how far you can run before you start screaming.