for abt half a yr the universe truly has just been like "oh ure finally starting to feel good abt urself and where ure at?? time to annihilate all those good feelings Once Again teehee :^)"

maybe im being overdramatic idk im just. tired. want smth to go right w out it being torn away immediately

like if he wasnt interested at all suddenly then i could just get angry and cut those feelings off after some brief grieving But. no he does care abt me, he just needs to deal w his own mental health rn and im not in a position where id be able to help at all, he doesnt kno me like that /yet/

in a way this feels worse than him losing interest bc like. no He Is interested he's just. going thru a depressive episode and needs to prioritize himself over a budding relationship for right now. which im very sympathetic towards it's just. hhh

he's gonna be at a PA con in september we'll take him out then

jeremy told me to calm down a couple days ago but im still just. heavy breathing. and i kno it's like 90% a trauma response thing but binch if u like me then WHY havent u tried to bother me in the last four days !!!!!!!!

i was correct he had big boy meetings this morning 😔

told her how when we talked shit out we both mentioned taking a few days to ourselves, but i was already starting to miss him after 2 days. and then tonight i was like hhh oki i'll text him friday. lo and behold ig he missed me just the same bc he texted me abt his bg3 sesh earlier tonight hehe :>

i may be finishing some of the lemon vodka from katsucon lol. my therapist def gave me some slight side eye after i gave her the run down on what happened w him at katsu But Also. she did see me reasoning behind not cutting him off then and there