pov: you’re gonna bring up a conversation topic then use your position as manager to chastise everyone and shut down the conversation after you’ve said your bit

ordering at whata and my mother says immediately after i order “ohh feeling fat today?” what the fuck 😀

additional comments made were “the main thing is i didn’t want you to sit on the sanitizer… well that is if you choose to sit, i mean if you’re doing that or well if you’re doing the other thing” BROTHER PLEASE STOP TALKINH

crossed looking at a shit covered toilet and meanwhile this is like my nightmare as someone who just wanted to use the bathroom in peace and so he’s now cleaning shit off the toilet and i’m just standing there confused why he even needed to show me then he goes “it wasn’t me by the way” bruh what

tell me why i try to take a piss at work and i walk into the bathroom and boom there’s my manager so i duck into the stall to pee in peace and he fucking follows me goes “ahem before you go in there come look at this for a minute someone diarrhea’d on the seat” and so we’re standing there arms (1/?)

you could be driving fine doing nothing wrong having a good time even and BOOM. a cops there to remind you that ain’t shit funny

try not to kms challenge level: impossible

just told a customer i’m a weezer fan and their honest to god response was “oh, why do you hate yourself?”

FUCK ELON MUSK I LOBE NEW TWITTER

first bluesky tweet fuck what’s up