I'm sorry this is the funniest image I've ever seen

Just woke up from a dream where I was on a vacation with various people including a colleague I've never met that I had somehow started an *immediate* FWB relationship with for said vacation

Friend, asking various this or that questions: "tree or bush"

Me, immediately: "Bush"

Had been thinking about if I wanted to get a genital piercing and if so which one, when my boyfriend reminded me "hey if you get a piercing, because of how well endowed you are, you will be less able to 1. Fuck people with IUDs 2. Be less able to stick it down people's throats"

How come blindfolds make sec so much better and easier and more fun

Do not ask me about my body image issues I will not be answering questions

A f*nd*m relationship but it's just me buying drink after drink from the pretty speed bartender with shoulders wider than mine so I can watch her work

Pretty hot of me to pick up some twink from the lgs, take them to a concert by one of their favorite bands, then blow them to completion 3 times in a hotel before not ever really seeing them again

i’m sorry but “he said no one would fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks”

???????????

YES natalie, everyone will fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks

e v e r y o n e

Still thinking about this one time I was tasting different alcohols with my ex and we kissed during and I could taste it on their lips

Need that again

Bluesky is big enough that it's time for the rebirth of the separate horny account