the white supremacist-worshiping, trad wife-wanting, poor income-earning, woman-hating, diversity-fearing, pretend-pious faux Christ-like hypocrite army who have retarded all progress, all hope for a better life for us all, just to devote their lives to an obese, sundowning despot who hates them.

But here's the actual, sickening truth: we are all being held hostage by the beer-bellied, red-hatted, grease-stained wifebeater-wearing rabidly frothing-at-the-mouth troglodyte; the blindcult-following, fact-shunning, science-denying, low-information, room temperature IQ-having, de-evolved cretins;

Oh, I thought that he was mobilizing all the military to invade Canada and Greenland. I guess this is better?