GAMBLE YOUR LIFE AWAY

I need to take the feeling of being on edge while waiting for my moirails responses to the next level

Ineed someone to do things to me that i hate

I lowkey need someone to validate my validation-seekingness and treat me like a princess and say no one else will love me like they do and destroy me and threaten me and when i obey theyll comfort me and say theyre sorry

Im so sorry. Km so sorry.

I miss my mom

I really want ti stay near my mom

I wanted to work on my mental health. I hoped that one day i wouldnt that mentally ill anymore and could show love and affection to my mom. But i might not even be able to do this

I hate this reminder that things are finite. Tnat people die. That they can just disappear from your life at any moment. My mom definitely feels very unloved and this destroys me. I wish i was a better child

Why did i do that oh my god im gonna killmyself i didnt want to do that why why Oh my god hes a 15YEAR LLLD i cant even say sorry dude im unable to say im sorry j wish i wasnt ohh my god

Id be better off dead

Why did they put me here

I didnt want to be like this

By you it will not make me love 5ou im sotry im so sorry so so soryry im ungrateful as fuck but i cant keep doing this shit. I ewnted to love i also wanted to feel loved but i dont i dont feel loved not even mlby my own oarents. I dont udnerstand i neever will. Understand anything ever

I never 2anted to be like this i never asked to be born i sidnt want to be born why did you even put bme here do tou even like me do youbate me i am hated by my own creators i dont.csre what ppres3nts you give me i dont care how much money you soend on me i t wont take away my feeling of being hated

I really wish i wasnt like this i wanred ro be a normal person i wanred ro love and live liek a normal person k wanted to be a e to say j love mh family i wanted to be able to connect to my friends i eish i didnt have voices telling me they hate me telling me to cut them off before they abandon me i

It is so embarassing. To feel like this. To be this way. To have gone through this. And i cant escape it. I hate my parents. Im ignorant and insensitive but i hate my parents. I am terrified by them. I did it. I deserved it. But i dontcare i dont likewhat you did. Ruined me forever i am unfixable

I dont understand. How would that affect me that badly. My parents dont think too much of it and i dont think They Ever hit me to the point of it leaving visible marks. They were very caring and loving. Mom would always say sorry for hitting us. I cant lie i never really liked the affection.