Tech CEOs: AI is the future

Also Tech CEOs: stop saying please to the chatbots it’s draining the oceans!!!!

Heard they recalled all those cybertrucks for being too fuckin sweet

My almost 2-year-old daughter employs a brilliant negotiating tactic which is to ask for a popsicle at the crack of dawn and then yell “Yay!!” while running toward the freezer before anyone can answer

Why is someone calling you back while you’re in the middle of leaving them a voicemail the most frantic experience of your life

Dad down the street and I are currently engaged in a sinister match of “we should get the kids together”, neither of us committing to date or time, exchanging empty texts that will lead absolutely nowhere, both of us willing to carry this on to until one of us moves out of state

@karltaro.bsky.social hey man thinking of you. Hope you and your family are safe.

Making blueberry pancakes with the 4-year-old and his baby sister

Arriving to 2025 in the exact way I’d hoped: fresh off a 2-week ham diet, blood slowly sloshing through my veins like a frozen margarita machine

[walking into the grocery store on Christmas Eve without a shopping list]

“Talk to me Goose…”

The reason I think crypto should be heavily regulated is because there’s something called a meme coin

The Cybertruck is the first automobile to ask “what if the frat guy who got expelled for hazing was a car?”

Today while waiting to use the bathroom at our favorite smoothie shop my 3-year-old stood outside the occupied door and yelled “YOU’RE DOING GREAT”

Hard to leave twitter, the place where someone told me they would murder my family because I said I preferred seventh generation dish soap