I can only hope that maybe at one point I was their friend for at least one moment.

I hope I was at least an acquaintance for them. I kinda want to cry but at this same time I want to laugh because I feel stupid for thinking we were friends for years but I was wrong.

I want to vomit what I already eat. I lost my appetite for today.

Just because I eat less than usual and called an energy bar a dinner doesn't mean you have to laugh at me. You treat a fucking candy bar as a dinner so why I can't.

I feel so awful. I absolutely despise begin the ,,they eat a lot" joke. It's not funny to me.

My talking just makes problems for others and does no good to anyone including myself.

Like I understand that but then got a comment ,, if you don't have the money don't go out because everything is overpriced here" like that hurt.

Like they give me comments like ,, I would say something but I will spare you the comments" when I proposed going for drinks and said that they don't have to go. I think it's because yesterday I wasn't so keen on going to the museum because it was pricey but decided to nonetheless.

I feel like today it reached the break point. It's not like I wouldn't give them back the money but the comments make me want to just go home.

Good news I was able to calm down but got a headache. I prefer a headache over wanting to self delete.

I feel awful when we go to eat something and they ask who will pay this time and we will go silent for a moment and they would look at me for a second and I can't say ,,I will pay this time" because I don't have enough money.

I'm not a morning person. But it is a big problem for them to have to wait 15-20 min for a bus after work for a month while I have to wait 30-45 min everyday for my bus but I don't complain about how inconvenient it is and understand that not everyone would be happy with it.

I also don't know how to talk to them about it. I feel like some of it are small insignificant matters but because of my overthinking turn into big and petty staff.

I know that I probably overthinking this but I just feel like I'm no longer needed, like my presence is only a nusence to them.