I’m like a bug that eats its mate; whoever comes, disappears.

Elon Musk, come and see a rocket!

(My cat is racing around the house in the middle of the night.)

Last one 🤦🏻‍♀️

Your mom is dying, yet you get up and go to work. You break up with your partner, and still, you go to work. Your cat is sick, but you take yourself to work. Pain should have some value, but it doesn’t. Paying your rent and debts takes priority over everything else. How strange.

I just want to lean back and stay still without worrying about anything. It shouldn’t be this hard.

#LoveWins

The only thing I want to ask my ex-boyfriend, who’s over 40 and still can’t get out of bars, is:
“When’s your farewell-to-youth party? Because it looks like you’re celebrating it every night.”

They always say we’re like a family at the office, but no one in a real family has a meltdown over an Excel sheet!

Her: Do you remember what today is?
Him: Of course! It’s… uh… the day I fell in love with you all over again?

(The ultimate save attempt!)

I want to bring all the cats on the street home so they don’t get cold. I guess women who’ve never had children by the age of 40 start having cat problems.

I’m diving into the timeline