That donks! :/

I hope the great peace I've found over the past few minutes is contagious and you find yourself its latest victim. I hope you feel the oneness I've felt.

But most of all I hope you don't realize that I should have used "whom" instead of "who" about 4 paragraphs ago...

I reminded myself that whatever I choose to do, it's my choice. I want to write this down right now. I want to go cuddle my wife. If I spend a few more minutes scrolling on my phone? That's whatevs. That's a fine way to spend a moment. And that moment is mine to spend.

I could feel the air slowly fill my lungs... Felt the rough fabric of the chair against me. Felt myself unclench muscles that were tensed for years... The rust broken through and I was free to spin. My depression, my great companion, gone for just a moment.

Then I remembered the subtle beauty of my existence. I was in a space where I felt comfortable enough to be naked. Nothing but myself.... Wrinkles, folds, and all. Hearing the soft, gentle, beautiful snore of the person I want to spend every night of my life with.

I felt just awful. The world was on my shoulders and wasn't mine. Why should existence be hard? Feel bad? Why should I feel like I'm not enough? Who do I owe my lack of comfort to?

Everyone.

The universe.

Life itself.

How can I just squander my spark of life watching brain rot on my phone?

Malort is a good idea! And I DO have some... And Malort is right on par with how specific/hard to find the spirit is. (While not saying it wasn't Malort)

Good god I love Costco....

And I DID do a shot of Tennessee Whiskey and Sweet Chili sauce which wasn't terrible... but I bet someone else has done that....

When I say "specific" I mean... SPECIFIC. Were it a wine, think not "red or white" think "Merlot or Burgundy."

Drinking or doing weird crap? XD