Herr Nudel von und zu Nudel aus Nudelland.

I was a world-renowned explorer, but then I got 2 arrows to my knee. Now I make fursuits and work on my cars in the garage.... and I would not go back.

"This whine-valise now belongs to Großkatzenreich!" We demand the finest tuna as compensation and belly rubbs.

Sorry for the rant at this time of year, but I'm running out of options. I just don't know anymore. I don't want to bother or traumadump on anyone anymore. Why can't these wounds heal? Why do they get ripped open again and again. Why can't I have just a little peace.

But still, I get things done work on improving my apartment cleaning getting rid of old stuff I don't ned anymore but I'm falling apart after the seams abd there is not much filling left to run out. I got rejected by another therapist, and I'm about to stop searching for more.

I just wana hide in my bed and get the last week of work done and call this year quitts on Friday the 13th .. hoping for some peace and relaxation in my 3 weeks of xmas vacation. But with all at work, even my vacation is at risk being canceled. I'm just drained and numb.

I kinda feel this is just another attempt for attention like she did in 2017 to "enslave" the caretaker to her will and force her presence 7/24. But it could be her health failing as well she's 83 after all. Combine this with 6 days a week at work and high stress duel to it.

I knew her day would come one day, but for now, I imagined she'll grow to be 100 fueled by her toxic narcissism alone. Partly, I wished her just to .. not wake up... but seeing her wither away.. hurts, but the same, I want her to suffer more than I did. Why can't things be easy once?

I know she has driven any friends and relatives away she had. The care home staff despises her. I could say I was proven right. I never was the problem I was only blamed to be. My mind is split. I hate and loath her for how she mentally hurt and abused me, but part of me remains her loyal pet.

Überstunden machen ja gerne ..
Überstunden nehmen bitte nicht Überstunden auszahlen ja wo sind wir denn?
Und Anfang Dezember dann "sie haben noch 28 Tage rest Urlaub aber wegen der Auftragslage können wir keinen Urlaub gewähren der verfällt dann zum 1.1 ok??"

My apologies to all my friends out there who follow me here. This is not what you look for reading and I know some will dread me retelling old horror of my mother and her mistreatment and mental abuse but sadly this is part of me and why I am now how I am good and ill.

While this talk was very positive, I'm still shaking tears in my eyes. But the gutt punch was much less. I'm healing somehow slowly. For all its worth, my mother is in good health ....considering my luck, she'll haunt me till I'm 100. I'm 43 now. What a fun way to start a long weekend.

*plays jaws theme holding up a picture of a very grumpy gorilla*

It's never too late to fix things. Don't let fear and past trauma hold you back. It's an uphill struggle, but you can do it. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

I knew this was to happen sooner than later .. the core of this pc is from 2011 it served me well, but I guess it's time finally time to consider an update... so I'll have to check how to pull this build off in stepps .. my poor financial situation after ef isn't helping well time to save and plan.

Welcome to the Club it's not souly you having this problem.