Sadly I think Meatwad has bit more common sense and empathy even if he doesn't quite understand why. I've hit 40 and I honestly don't see myself being Obama era level of optimistic about the direction of this country probably before I die in my 70's at best.

Yeah everyone wins that way, oops I meant the awful criminals win. I wouldn't be surprised to see members of the Guzmán family in attendance at the weird UFC fight at the whitehouse next July 4th.

Apparently you've never been to a sleepover in middle school and love gossip. "Wonderful secret" is a term that means you're about to hear something good when you're a petty bitch in 7th grade.

What the hell is a Chief People Officer(CPO)? I guess I spent too many years working in the restaurant and hospitality fields and that job title sounds made up and something that is a position given to a side piece.

I know I shouldn't make fun of a persons appearance, but that dude looks like what happens when I create a character in Baldur's Gate 3 while passing out drunk and adjust the sliders all wonky.

It reminds me a bit of an old Married With Children episode where Al and Griff joined the national guard before, I believe, a massive garbage strike ruins their cookout plans and they actually have to do things.

Dave Portnoy has been an asshole misogynistic douche for well over a decade. I guess better late than never to learn this.

My heart glows just fine when I eat the right amounts of molly and shrooms at the same time, I think that's what Dr Wolf is talking about.

I know the currents are strong there but why is it going backwards with a tug boat near it?

When is he going to stop being polite...and start getting real?

For some reason they're leaving HP sauce alone, maybe they think it's part of computer exempt tariff negotiations?

Maybe you get different pear trees there or have a different sense of smell? The ones called Bradford pear trees planted all over my city in the 1960's smell distinctly like old semen every year when in bloom. Thankfully it doesn't last long, but I don't think of the petals as fragrant snowflakes.

Divide by 0?

Maybe trying to unstick a sweaty scrotum from his thigh? It can sometimes lead to not the most graceful of movements especially at a full sprint.

He hasn't even been in office for 90 days yet, that hurts my brain.