Trying my hand at a controversial click-bait title. I have all these ideas for blogs and nothing but time on my hands, as my hands are the very thing keeping me from work. Eventually I want to get to a place where I have anti-inflammatory foods prepped and ready to use. To not go for quick gf processed foods such as miniature pepperoni sticks and protein bars.

"Therefore you have no excuse or justification, everyone of you who judges and condemns others; for in passing judgment on another person, you condemn yourself." -Romans 2:1 AMP. I recently had a frustrating conversation with someone. I have been the person to send angry or unforgiving texts in haste. I am reflecting back on all my conversations with this person, and they were saying things like, "I'm a change agent..people don't want to hear the truth." They also said they don't have a lot of friends, (shocker).

My poor little heart. I need to sit with this, instead of distracting myself with shows and chess and social media. My body and heart knew before my head knew. I felt chest pain again, heartache. I had the image of trying to squeeze water out of a stone. This is not a bad person or a mean person. It would be easier if they were harsh, and I was kind of goading that response from them, but they didn't bite.

It's been a while since I have written anything, journal, blog or otherwise. I bought a new laptop, a Microsoft surface pro and I am learning how to use it. I am trying to transfer my prior login passwords and accounts to this new computer while navigating the secure sign-ins and 2-step verifications. I like apple products and the ease of face recognition as secure sign-ins.

I'm using this as a journal, full stop, you're welcome. I recognize how sacred are my time, energy, and thoughts. Grief doesn't end. Sometimes I think losing a sister is akin to losing a soulmate. I went to the lake yesterday, as so often I do, and so often I am reminded of times I went to the lake with my sister and nephew.

I have an eye for beauty. I appreciate craftwork and the time spent to make something extraordinary. Without fail, I will be drawn to the most expensive art-piece, article of clothing, pottery, outward and inward detailing of a vehicle, knives, etc. It is like I have a subconscious radar for the expensive. A cringe moment that comes back to me is when I asked the career counsellor at college if there were any degrees that would lead me to become "a patron of the arts." He said, "you want to buy art?" A literal interpretation.

ALT: a man in a scarf is standing in a room with the words `` raise your hand if you just got chills '' .

It feels like a good time to write. I really need to start a journal..the daily pages my mom keeps encouraging me to have.. I went to the movie, Materialists, with my friend, yesterday. We bought popcorn with butter layers, junk food, and pop, and enjoyed recliner seats anticipating our mutual affection for Pedro Pascal (dreamboat). After it finished, I didn't know what to think?

ALT: a woman is sitting at a table in a restaurant eating a piece of meat .

ALT: two women are standing in a closet looking at clothes . one woman is wearing a hat .

ALT: clueless poster with a woman in a yellow plaid jacket