Thanks so much for your feedback! It’s hard to find the balance between aesthetic and character limits, I’ll think about a way to combine them. ☺️

wow, thank you!! I really appreciate the pointers and kind words! I’ll find a way to work in more stakes- I do like the idea of focusing on one of the girls, my character Poppy has a lot of defining moments in the first few chapters that I can highlight.

thank you for your feedback! I’ll work to incorporate this. without sounding too dramatic, the worst that could happen is the end of the world and provide unlimited magic to one individual. thinking in ‘Stakes’ is really helpful- back to drafting!

character limits really are brutal! 😖 I am new to the bluesky pitch world, but I’m happy to DM back and forth if you ever want some quick feedback as you work through your pitch!

ooooh so they stumbled upon a quill that is rumored to communicate with the dead BUT they learn it won’t work without a precise ink mixture, so the enthusiastic elixir crafting begins!

oh, thank you! ☺️ I can work on clarifying that in the pitch. Both their families own the candle shop together and they aren’t related

thank you!! I’ll work on incorporating that. ☺️

been trying to get the hang of things- that's a great idea! i really appreciate the feedback. :)

some quick thoughts to (hopefully) help! really loving what you've posted so far.

- why does the blame fall on Alice? (poor girl lol)
- does she sail south alone?
- why is she skeptical about the existence of magic? maybe you can include some Alice 'angst' here!

oh my goodness, thank you so much!! 😊