Brian Zeolla
@brianzeolla.bsky.social
Touring Comedian. Aspiring Writer. AMC A-List Member.
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ig brianzeolla
lb brianzeolla
twitter inevitably deleted
I’ve been sober for over ten years but I’ve recently started going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Without alcohol, I need new reasons to call my ex.
February 20, 2025 at 2:33 AM
I’ve been sober for over ten years but I’ve recently started going to Alcoholics Anonymous. Without alcohol, I need new reasons to call my ex.
I’m sick of calling the things I’m kind of embarrassed by guilty pleasures, Jeffrey Dahmer had guilty pleasures, I like the goo goo dolls
February 15, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I’m sick of calling the things I’m kind of embarrassed by guilty pleasures, Jeffrey Dahmer had guilty pleasures, I like the goo goo dolls
Me to Fred Durst at Olive Garden before our Tour of Italys get to the table; “we really did do it all for the gnocchi, huh?”
February 11, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Me to Fred Durst at Olive Garden before our Tour of Italys get to the table; “we really did do it all for the gnocchi, huh?”
Nancy Mace is what you get when you feed Marjorie Taylor Greene after midnight, but the mogwai is also evil
February 8, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Nancy Mace is what you get when you feed Marjorie Taylor Greene after midnight, but the mogwai is also evil
I bet the producers of Forged in Fire were bummed that the name Chopped was already taken
February 6, 2025 at 4:05 PM
I bet the producers of Forged in Fire were bummed that the name Chopped was already taken
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and even I’m surprised I don’t own any swords
February 4, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and even I’m surprised I don’t own any swords
After a fun night out I like to take my date home, give them a tour of the house, and when we get to the bedroom I say “this is where the magic happens” and then show them the large pentagram under my bed
January 29, 2025 at 9:04 PM
After a fun night out I like to take my date home, give them a tour of the house, and when we get to the bedroom I say “this is where the magic happens” and then show them the large pentagram under my bed
I don’t care what the Supreme Court says, you can’t stop me from tiktoking*
*constantly reflecting on my mortality as I get closer to 40
*constantly reflecting on my mortality as I get closer to 40
January 17, 2025 at 5:02 PM
I don’t care what the Supreme Court says, you can’t stop me from tiktoking*
*constantly reflecting on my mortality as I get closer to 40
*constantly reflecting on my mortality as I get closer to 40
The top internet search after Biden warned “an oligarchy is taking shape in America” was ‘what is an oligarchy?’ Which is why I can’t stress enough the importance of using a vpn
January 17, 2025 at 3:20 AM
The top internet search after Biden warned “an oligarchy is taking shape in America” was ‘what is an oligarchy?’ Which is why I can’t stress enough the importance of using a vpn
It used to be “it’s 2015, where’s my hoverboard” now it’s like “it’s 2025 where’s my goo pod with neck plug feeding tubes that keep me alive while I play second life”
January 11, 2025 at 9:36 PM
It used to be “it’s 2015, where’s my hoverboard” now it’s like “it’s 2025 where’s my goo pod with neck plug feeding tubes that keep me alive while I play second life”
Been thinking about becoming a motorcycle guy, but the moment someone calls me Tons of Anarchy, I’m done
January 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Been thinking about becoming a motorcycle guy, but the moment someone calls me Tons of Anarchy, I’m done
I know my relationship with comedy has changed because I stopped calling all of my terrible life derailing choices “bits”
January 8, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I know my relationship with comedy has changed because I stopped calling all of my terrible life derailing choices “bits”
Walking through the mall listening to What If God Was One of Us on my walkman, so yeah, I’d say I’m an artist
December 7, 2024 at 9:25 PM
Walking through the mall listening to What If God Was One of Us on my walkman, so yeah, I’d say I’m an artist
Just saw a juggalo riding a pink children’s bicycle with no hands because he had a cigarette in each hand. This is going to be the best Christmas!
December 1, 2024 at 9:57 PM
Just saw a juggalo riding a pink children’s bicycle with no hands because he had a cigarette in each hand. This is going to be the best Christmas!
My dream is to become a Hell’s Kitchen producer and have to ask people “can I get about 30 different takes of you saying “what the fuck” in that closet”
November 30, 2024 at 10:16 PM
My dream is to become a Hell’s Kitchen producer and have to ask people “can I get about 30 different takes of you saying “what the fuck” in that closet”
I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m not I’m not the youth of the nation anymore
November 29, 2024 at 4:08 PM
I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m not I’m not the youth of the nation anymore
Reposted by Brian Zeolla
If civil war breaks out, meet me at the library.
November 16, 2024 at 2:27 PM
If civil war breaks out, meet me at the library.
I’m catching up on everyone’s posts from last night about Netflix going down during the fight. This is why I’ve completely transitioned to physical media, I have Alien vs Predator on dvd
November 16, 2024 at 4:06 PM
I’m catching up on everyone’s posts from last night about Netflix going down during the fight. This is why I’ve completely transitioned to physical media, I have Alien vs Predator on dvd
I want my first post to be strong
November 14, 2024 at 5:54 PM
I want my first post to be strong