The rest of this course was stories demonstrating that you didn’t need to become an actual priest or nun to have a happy celibate life. There was at least nine pregnancies in my year alone before I had finished school.

My sex education was the story of Brian and Claire who sensibly waited until their wedding night before having sex and who now were expectant parents. At the start of the year I was made to sit next to a girl called Claire. Oh the hilarity.