Brian Beatty
@brianbeatty.bsky.social
Five books of poems; a spoken-word album; Anti-Heroin Chic, Appalachian Journal, The Beatnik Cowboy, BULL, Cowboy Jamboree, CutBank, Evergreen Review, Floyd County Moonshine, McSweeney's, ONE ART, The Quarterly, Rattle, The Southern Review.
It's a Malcolm Holcombe kind of Tuesday.
September 16, 2025 at 3:27 PM
It's a Malcolm Holcombe kind of Tuesday.
Every year at this time, I say it: I've had a lot of fantasies, but none of them were about football.
September 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Every year at this time, I say it: I've had a lot of fantasies, but none of them were about football.
Taking Rebecca to something called Hillbilly Happy Hour for our anniversary. So, yes, I guess you could call me a romantic.
September 11, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Taking Rebecca to something called Hillbilly Happy Hour for our anniversary. So, yes, I guess you could call me a romantic.
Rubber chickens and rubber ducks squeak the same language.
September 11, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Rubber chickens and rubber ducks squeak the same language.
Contemplating the never-ending poetry manuscript.
September 4, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Contemplating the never-ending poetry manuscript.
Book cover of the day.
September 3, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Book cover of the day.
I thought the idea was to get criminals OFF the streets of DC.
August 21, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I thought the idea was to get criminals OFF the streets of DC.
TL;DL (too long; didn't listen)
August 21, 2025 at 2:47 PM
TL;DL (too long; didn't listen)
Anybody with all the answers hasn't asked enough questions.
August 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Anybody with all the answers hasn't asked enough questions.
Maybe he'll even offer them candy.
August 15, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Maybe he'll even offer them candy.
Somebody misunderstood the Village People song "Macho Man."
August 15, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Somebody misunderstood the Village People song "Macho Man."
They all look like they weren't hugged as children.
August 7, 2025 at 10:48 PM
They all look like they weren't hugged as children.
An old joke: "Joining MENSA is the dumbest thing I've ever done."
August 7, 2025 at 7:28 PM
An old joke: "Joining MENSA is the dumbest thing I've ever done."
The stable genius strikes again.
August 1, 2025 at 9:05 PM
The stable genius strikes again.
I tried to get a job driving one of those Brinks money trucks.
The interview was going great until the lady asked where I saw myself in five years and like some kind of idiot, I told her the truth.
I said on the sandy beaches of a remote island paradise.
The interview was going great until the lady asked where I saw myself in five years and like some kind of idiot, I told her the truth.
I said on the sandy beaches of a remote island paradise.
July 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I tried to get a job driving one of those Brinks money trucks.
The interview was going great until the lady asked where I saw myself in five years and like some kind of idiot, I told her the truth.
I said on the sandy beaches of a remote island paradise.
The interview was going great until the lady asked where I saw myself in five years and like some kind of idiot, I told her the truth.
I said on the sandy beaches of a remote island paradise.
What a coincidence. They think we're stupid.
July 24, 2025 at 10:51 PM
What a coincidence. They think we're stupid.
How many more celebrity deaths will Trump have to arrange before the nation forgets about Epstein?
July 24, 2025 at 5:40 PM
How many more celebrity deaths will Trump have to arrange before the nation forgets about Epstein?
Trump is a dumb person's idea of a successful person. He's not even a dumb person's idea of a smart person.
July 23, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Trump is a dumb person's idea of a successful person. He's not even a dumb person's idea of a smart person.
I always preferred Zeppelin to Sabbath, but there was never any denying the power of Ozzy's voice. He and Plant sang me through my early teen years.
July 22, 2025 at 7:58 PM
I always preferred Zeppelin to Sabbath, but there was never any denying the power of Ozzy's voice. He and Plant sang me through my early teen years.
Lawsuits are his love language.
July 18, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Lawsuits are his love language.
Theo Von isn't exactly Mike Wallace. He's not even Anderson Cooper.
July 17, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Theo Von isn't exactly Mike Wallace. He's not even Anderson Cooper.
You can tell these manosphere dudes are dumb because the obvious choice is himisphere.
July 16, 2025 at 4:12 PM
You can tell these manosphere dudes are dumb because the obvious choice is himisphere.