Bret Plate 🍁💙📎
@bretplate.bsky.social
I don't get nearly enough credit for the things I manage not to say. Created the 1st BPA-Free water bottle. Starting a new co. to continue the fight against plastics & climate change. 'X' Refugee. Buddhist. It's not too late to save the planet.
Pressing fashion question of the day: will Ralph Lauren successfully bring back pleated pants?
November 23, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Pressing fashion question of the day: will Ralph Lauren successfully bring back pleated pants?
I'm sure this is just a coincidence.
November 19, 2025 at 3:58 AM
I'm sure this is just a coincidence.
Remind us of anything? This is the aftermath of the Dresden Fire Bombing. May the world look back in 80 years on what Israel did to Gaza with the same horror we still feel for Dresden.
November 19, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Remind us of anything? This is the aftermath of the Dresden Fire Bombing. May the world look back in 80 years on what Israel did to Gaza with the same horror we still feel for Dresden.
My Gen Z son told me yesterday that his generation thinks previous generations looked "older and more mature" than kids today, which he says is due to lower testosterone/ estrogen levels caused by too much screen time. I politely disagreed.
November 17, 2025 at 9:57 PM
My Gen Z son told me yesterday that his generation thinks previous generations looked "older and more mature" than kids today, which he says is due to lower testosterone/ estrogen levels caused by too much screen time. I politely disagreed.
The GOP built their brand on simple messaging that outflanked DEM policy wonk nerds.
1. Taxes are bad
2. Regulations are bad [b/c they're like taxes]
3. [Christian] religion is good
4. Abortion is bad
5. All social safety nets are bad [b/c they're for the lazy]
Unfortunately for them...
1. Taxes are bad
2. Regulations are bad [b/c they're like taxes]
3. [Christian] religion is good
4. Abortion is bad
5. All social safety nets are bad [b/c they're for the lazy]
Unfortunately for them...
November 12, 2025 at 12:45 AM
The GOP built their brand on simple messaging that outflanked DEM policy wonk nerds.
1. Taxes are bad
2. Regulations are bad [b/c they're like taxes]
3. [Christian] religion is good
4. Abortion is bad
5. All social safety nets are bad [b/c they're for the lazy]
Unfortunately for them...
1. Taxes are bad
2. Regulations are bad [b/c they're like taxes]
3. [Christian] religion is good
4. Abortion is bad
5. All social safety nets are bad [b/c they're for the lazy]
Unfortunately for them...
WHY I HATE AI:
Because it keeps showing me images of places that I look at and think - "I REALLY, REALLY want to live there! In *that* house, with a stream right outside the French doors of my bedroom."
And then I remember climate change and the rise of "1000 year" super storms.
Because it keeps showing me images of places that I look at and think - "I REALLY, REALLY want to live there! In *that* house, with a stream right outside the French doors of my bedroom."
And then I remember climate change and the rise of "1000 year" super storms.
November 11, 2025 at 10:55 PM
WHY I HATE AI:
Because it keeps showing me images of places that I look at and think - "I REALLY, REALLY want to live there! In *that* house, with a stream right outside the French doors of my bedroom."
And then I remember climate change and the rise of "1000 year" super storms.
Because it keeps showing me images of places that I look at and think - "I REALLY, REALLY want to live there! In *that* house, with a stream right outside the French doors of my bedroom."
And then I remember climate change and the rise of "1000 year" super storms.
Bobolinks are migratory songbirds with a magical ability – to reach their breeding grounds they use the stars to help them navigate over 6,000 miles. STATUS: Threatened.
November 11, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Bobolinks are migratory songbirds with a magical ability – to reach their breeding grounds they use the stars to help them navigate over 6,000 miles. STATUS: Threatened.
Stoats are a species of weasel whose fur turns from brown to white in winter (when they are called ermines). Nobody knows why ermines jump into the air like this. Some think it's to lure prey, others that it's caused by parasitic infection.
I like the third theory: sheer exuberance.
I like the third theory: sheer exuberance.
November 11, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Stoats are a species of weasel whose fur turns from brown to white in winter (when they are called ermines). Nobody knows why ermines jump into the air like this. Some think it's to lure prey, others that it's caused by parasitic infection.
I like the third theory: sheer exuberance.
I like the third theory: sheer exuberance.
The Pando is thought to be both the largest and oldest living organism on the planet. All 47,000 trees come from a single seed deposited at the end of the last Ice Age. Each tree is part of the same 80,000-year-old root system and have genetically identical stems.
November 11, 2025 at 8:17 PM
The Pando is thought to be both the largest and oldest living organism on the planet. All 47,000 trees come from a single seed deposited at the end of the last Ice Age. Each tree is part of the same 80,000-year-old root system and have genetically identical stems.
Let's not forget the Sociopath piece.
November 11, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Let's not forget the Sociopath piece.
J.D. Vance is supposedly 6'2". Trump claims he's 6'3". MSNBC reporter Vaughn Hillyard is the same height as Mayor Pete, who's 5'8", but in this screen grab, he's clearly at least two inches taller than J.D. Which means J.D. is 5'6" & Trump is 5'5" tall.
See how disinformation works?
See how disinformation works?
November 11, 2025 at 5:35 PM
J.D. Vance is supposedly 6'2". Trump claims he's 6'3". MSNBC reporter Vaughn Hillyard is the same height as Mayor Pete, who's 5'8", but in this screen grab, he's clearly at least two inches taller than J.D. Which means J.D. is 5'6" & Trump is 5'5" tall.
See how disinformation works?
See how disinformation works?
As usual, Trump can barely stay on topic today.
"We're calling it the Department of War from now on, because...no more 'woke.'"
"There's Speaker Johnson. We're about to end the shutdown. There never should have been a shutdown."
"We're calling it the Department of War from now on, because...no more 'woke.'"
"There's Speaker Johnson. We're about to end the shutdown. There never should have been a shutdown."
November 11, 2025 at 5:21 PM
As usual, Trump can barely stay on topic today.
"We're calling it the Department of War from now on, because...no more 'woke.'"
"There's Speaker Johnson. We're about to end the shutdown. There never should have been a shutdown."
"We're calling it the Department of War from now on, because...no more 'woke.'"
"There's Speaker Johnson. We're about to end the shutdown. There never should have been a shutdown."
He's like a remorra, sometimes called the sharksucker fish because of the way they attach themselves to sharks.
November 10, 2025 at 9:58 PM
He's like a remorra, sometimes called the sharksucker fish because of the way they attach themselves to sharks.
For Republicans who would prefer a land animal, I offer this:
The NILE CROCODILE: territorial apex predator; opportunistic ambush hunters, allowing them to prey on a wide variety of animals they need to overpower. See humans as prey, potential food source.
Personally, I think the head is enough.
The NILE CROCODILE: territorial apex predator; opportunistic ambush hunters, allowing them to prey on a wide variety of animals they need to overpower. See humans as prey, potential food source.
Personally, I think the head is enough.
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
For Republicans who would prefer a land animal, I offer this:
The NILE CROCODILE: territorial apex predator; opportunistic ambush hunters, allowing them to prey on a wide variety of animals they need to overpower. See humans as prey, potential food source.
Personally, I think the head is enough.
The NILE CROCODILE: territorial apex predator; opportunistic ambush hunters, allowing them to prey on a wide variety of animals they need to overpower. See humans as prey, potential food source.
Personally, I think the head is enough.
1/
I would like to suggest a new Official Mascot & Symbol for the Republican Party. The Black Mamba is the most lethal snake on the planet, due to its potent venom and multiple strikes in quick succession, which can quickly shutdown the nervous system.
Personally, I think it's the ideal mascot.
I would like to suggest a new Official Mascot & Symbol for the Republican Party. The Black Mamba is the most lethal snake on the planet, due to its potent venom and multiple strikes in quick succession, which can quickly shutdown the nervous system.
Personally, I think it's the ideal mascot.
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
1/
I would like to suggest a new Official Mascot & Symbol for the Republican Party. The Black Mamba is the most lethal snake on the planet, due to its potent venom and multiple strikes in quick succession, which can quickly shutdown the nervous system.
Personally, I think it's the ideal mascot.
I would like to suggest a new Official Mascot & Symbol for the Republican Party. The Black Mamba is the most lethal snake on the planet, due to its potent venom and multiple strikes in quick succession, which can quickly shutdown the nervous system.
Personally, I think it's the ideal mascot.
Here's to Americans are starting to understand that unconstrained Capitalism is not what Republicans have been claiming it is for decades.
The countries they claim are "socialist" are actually "capitalists" operating under the "Nordic Model" of strong social safety nets. They're also the happiest.
The countries they claim are "socialist" are actually "capitalists" operating under the "Nordic Model" of strong social safety nets. They're also the happiest.
November 9, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Here's to Americans are starting to understand that unconstrained Capitalism is not what Republicans have been claiming it is for decades.
The countries they claim are "socialist" are actually "capitalists" operating under the "Nordic Model" of strong social safety nets. They're also the happiest.
The countries they claim are "socialist" are actually "capitalists" operating under the "Nordic Model" of strong social safety nets. They're also the happiest.
Dear MAGA SNAP recipients:
Remember, we tried to warn you. We care deeply about your plight. Please consider voting Democrat in the next election. Shit like this doesn't happen under Democrat Presidents.
Remember, we tried to warn you. We care deeply about your plight. Please consider voting Democrat in the next election. Shit like this doesn't happen under Democrat Presidents.
November 9, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Dear MAGA SNAP recipients:
Remember, we tried to warn you. We care deeply about your plight. Please consider voting Democrat in the next election. Shit like this doesn't happen under Democrat Presidents.
Remember, we tried to warn you. We care deeply about your plight. Please consider voting Democrat in the next election. Shit like this doesn't happen under Democrat Presidents.
Sitka, Alaska. 4815 sq. miles of...snow.
November 8, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Sitka, Alaska. 4815 sq. miles of...snow.
Women everywhere are lining up, breathless, resume in hand.
November 8, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Women everywhere are lining up, breathless, resume in hand.
It turns out Sitka, Alaska is the biggest city in the United States - 4815 sq. miles.
Oh, wait. You were talking population! Never mind.
Oh, wait. You were talking population! Never mind.
November 8, 2025 at 4:14 PM
It turns out Sitka, Alaska is the biggest city in the United States - 4815 sq. miles.
Oh, wait. You were talking population! Never mind.
Oh, wait. You were talking population! Never mind.
2/
Though probably something more like this.
Though probably something more like this.
November 7, 2025 at 8:49 PM
2/
Though probably something more like this.
Though probably something more like this.
1/
Yep. Pretty certain this is what every MAGA woman envisions for her life over the next three years.
Yep. Pretty certain this is what every MAGA woman envisions for her life over the next three years.
November 7, 2025 at 8:49 PM
1/
Yep. Pretty certain this is what every MAGA woman envisions for her life over the next three years.
Yep. Pretty certain this is what every MAGA woman envisions for her life over the next three years.
If only MAGAs were on Bluesky and reading this stuff. But... they're busy listening to the really smart "truth tellers."
November 7, 2025 at 8:31 PM
If only MAGAs were on Bluesky and reading this stuff. But... they're busy listening to the really smart "truth tellers."
Be sure to tell al Qaeda to bring plenty of Dramamine.
November 7, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Be sure to tell al Qaeda to bring plenty of Dramamine.