i stopped at “the” bc i deadass dk why i was tweaking a second ago

the peak of my joy for the week has passed… when will I be freed from this prison of an unstable mind!!! I can feel eruptions of mockery from the heavens, snickers of ridicule!! The

also i’m fairly open abt it in that it’s not a “secret” but especially with work, i mostly avoid saying it bc even tho my generation is chill abt it, I don’t rly want the chance of anyone treating me condescendingly to come from it

all the emotional shit i have/had to deal with, rsd, and other bullshit that deadass sounds like my brain made up shit for attention or wtv makes it all worse. yea there are cool things but these never rly go away and knowing that ppl don’t have these constant issues feels disheartening at times.

and having to take meds just to be more normal and efficient like other ppl and it STILL not being 100% enough is incredibly frustrating. and not to mention…

i’ve grown to “hack” a lot of my issues w it so i work mostly functionally, but shit like time blindness and always forgetting shit if it’s not in front of me, being practically physically unable to do a task if i don’t wanna do it, losing things all the time++

also never trust me to follow an itinerary bc idc how in depth it is for my likes and dislikes. Clearly i don’t listen to myself at all

I’d rather do that than sour my experience with unnecessarily rushing through all the things i found interesting.

and not only that, but the fields of fine arts like classical theatre, singing, orchestra, etc— the players are regular degulars and most likely are chill… i’ve only met rich ppl that are chill and cool to be around, and those who’re 2D as hell and I wouldn’t really wanna talk to even if i was paid

establishments. Because i’ve had my fair share of this internal stressor and have also heard/seen this be stressed onto others externally. which is stupid bc i promise u, rich people aren’t elegant. The ones with a personality and actually worth talking to wouldn’t stress such expectations either

and that dear darling isn’t at all unwelcome to me but those around me unfortunately think otherwise. but now they need to wait a little

i’ve come to terms w the fact that the moon, my biggest constant, is now the loml and i’m gonna write poetry abt her n shii bc ion think anyone here compares (unless ur gojo)