Noah Phense
@brannockdevice.bsky.social
Mostly working on my standup routine. Some satire. Some tech stuff.
I have an ancestor who signed the US Declaration of Independence. But my parents were both immigrants to the US.
Pinned
You know someone you think might be on SNAP food stamps?
Get a store gift card, put it in an envelope and give it to them.
You don't need to say anything or bring it up again.
Get a store gift card, put it in an envelope and give it to them.
You don't need to say anything or bring it up again.
Are there orange worm holes?
November 18, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Are there orange worm holes?
Reposted by Noah Phense
"you really deserved it."
disgrace.
disgrace.
October 11, 2025 at 7:07 AM
"you really deserved it."
disgrace.
disgrace.
Reposted by Noah Phense
It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.
November 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.
What about trump's emails?
November 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
What about trump's emails?
Reposted by Noah Phense
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
November 14, 2025 at 6:11 AM
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
Mortgage fraud vs pedophelia
November 14, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Mortgage fraud vs pedophelia
Reposted by Noah Phense
Me too lock the fascists up 🙏⚖️
November 14, 2025 at 6:13 AM
Me too lock the fascists up 🙏⚖️
Reposted by Noah Phense
‼️ Reuters publishes footage of the Russia's massive attack on Kyiv and its consequences.
November 14, 2025 at 9:33 AM
‼️ Reuters publishes footage of the Russia's massive attack on Kyiv and its consequences.
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
November 14, 2025 at 6:11 AM
In American history class, do you remember the chapter about the eight founding fathers who decided to let king George off the hook?
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
No, you do not.
Weak sauce.
Why did i pay $5.28 for gasoline tonight
November 14, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Why did i pay $5.28 for gasoline tonight
I hate this timeline
November 14, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I hate this timeline
Rich people like to donate to the college they went to for big buildings and stuff.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
November 14, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Rich people like to donate to the college they went to for big buildings and stuff.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
You never hear about the elementary school getting anything.
Clearly the pardon has run its course and should be unconstitutional
November 14, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Clearly the pardon has run its course and should be unconstitutional
Reposted by Noah Phense
My alma mater. Shame.
According to the car wash owner, agents arrested employees before they could obtain their documentation from their work lockers. So many were likely here legally.
Here's hoping this article on Zac boasting about how he ruined some immigrants' lives follows him around for a very long time.
Here's hoping this article on Zac boasting about how he ruined some immigrants' lives follows him around for a very long time.
BU College Republicans president says he called ICE to ‘detain these criminals’ at Allston Car Wash
The president of Boston University College Republicans wrote on X he called the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement requesting it detain employees at Allston Car Wash, the site of a Nov. 4 raid w...
dailyfreepress.com
November 13, 2025 at 5:22 PM
My alma mater. Shame.
Which party stands for spinelessness??
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
November 10, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Which party stands for spinelessness??
Asking for a friend
Asking for a friend
I would like it 1,000-year mortgage
November 10, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I would like it 1,000-year mortgage
Reposted by Noah Phense
There is zero excuse for police, in a free society, to wear a mask.
Cowards
Cowards
November 8, 2025 at 11:41 PM
There is zero excuse for police, in a free society, to wear a mask.
Cowards
Cowards
Reposted by Noah Phense
How about Schumer offers to vote on clean resolution IF the house votes on Epstein files with rep Adelita Grijalva included?
November 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
How about Schumer offers to vote on clean resolution IF the house votes on Epstein files with rep Adelita Grijalva included?
How about Schumer offers to vote on clean resolution IF the house votes on Epstein files with rep Adelita Grijalva included?
November 7, 2025 at 9:45 PM
How about Schumer offers to vote on clean resolution IF the house votes on Epstein files with rep Adelita Grijalva included?
Sandwich guy got off
November 7, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Sandwich guy got off
Reposted by Noah Phense
Reports suggest that between 100,000 to 275,000 military families may be eligible for SNAP benefits.
November 3, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Reports suggest that between 100,000 to 275,000 military families may be eligible for SNAP benefits.
Reports suggest that between 100,000 to 275,000 military families may be eligible for SNAP benefits.
November 3, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Reports suggest that between 100,000 to 275,000 military families may be eligible for SNAP benefits.
Reposted by Noah Phense
I'm sending anyone in my building to the MAGA Moron who lives next door to me.
He was bragging about how cheap eggs were going to be last Thanksgiving. And they all treat him like he's not a Fascist.
Let's see him feed them despite being on SNAP himself.
He was bragging about how cheap eggs were going to be last Thanksgiving. And they all treat him like he's not a Fascist.
Let's see him feed them despite being on SNAP himself.
October 30, 2025 at 6:05 PM
I'm sending anyone in my building to the MAGA Moron who lives next door to me.
He was bragging about how cheap eggs were going to be last Thanksgiving. And they all treat him like he's not a Fascist.
Let's see him feed them despite being on SNAP himself.
He was bragging about how cheap eggs were going to be last Thanksgiving. And they all treat him like he's not a Fascist.
Let's see him feed them despite being on SNAP himself.