Brady Oltmans
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bradyoltmans.bsky.social
Brady Oltmans
@bradyoltmans.bsky.social
Sports journalist. Smooth brain.
linktr.ee/brady.oltmans
If you see my girlfriend please pass along your sympathies.

She’s been dating the world’s most annoying man since that Third Eye Blind Instacart commercial started airing.
June 23, 2025 at 8:10 PM
There’s a train leaving nightly called “When All Is Said And Done.”
November 16, 2024 at 6:56 AM
The Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight is a perfect allegory for the world right now bc it sucked
November 16, 2024 at 6:02 AM
They say you gotta fake it,
At least until you make it.
That ghost is just a kid in a sheet.
November 12, 2024 at 5:27 PM
My friend is getting married. He’s gonna be so stoked to see his wedding gift, a new kitchen knife set with “death to all betrayers” engraved on them.
November 11, 2024 at 12:55 AM
November 6, 2024 at 4:32 AM
Did this bald republican guy just say Roberto Clemente is in Pittsburgh to endorse Donald Trump??
November 5, 2024 at 1:15 AM
No one asked Matt Rhule about Dylan Raiola in the postgame. That media group is a joke.
November 3, 2024 at 1:16 AM
New Soccer Mommy record is very good.
November 2, 2024 at 12:52 AM
The new and final Japandroids album passes the “speeding down I-80 test”
October 22, 2024 at 10:51 PM
NEW: I covered the opening of CPKC Stadium, a landmark high in the long history of professional women’s soccer in the Paris of the Plains.

Up now on The Guardian.

www.theguardian.com/football/202...
March 19, 2024 at 2:04 PM
Now up on False Nine: Looking into meaning of CPKC Stadium, the first in the world built specifically and solely for a women’s sports team.
🔗: falsenine.substack.com/p/historic-o...
March 19, 2024 at 2:00 PM
New on False Nine: I wrote about how the lame duck USWNT staff is only one foot in on experimentation and youth.

🔗: falsenine.substack.com/p/interim-us...
February 28, 2024 at 3:07 PM
Writing for web and myself is an interesting change. First column coming to False Nine in the morning.
February 27, 2024 at 11:00 PM