Like this is just a perfect lob up to the ultimate dunk (I am so bored I am giving reply tweet commentary. I’m sorry)

If this isn’t perfect execution and timing, I don’t know what the hell is

What the hell is he wearing. He looks like a 15 year old going to prom

Theventy THICC

So young. 24 is when many are finding m out if the story in their mind of who they want to be in life is a first or second draft.

Since he’s said it on record that he’s pretty sure he isn’t going to heaven he might just take “In God We Trust” off the money and make it “Live Laugh Love”

Right? I want to see knee caps getting taken out now

Thank you for your solidarity with the perpetually fatigued community ✊

Threshold for millionaires though?

When I get back from vacation I’m going to just walk around the neighborhood planting signs with my name and “election next Tuesday” on them

Tweet gonna be longer than all the essays he wrote in college combined

Thank you for understanding. I promise I’ll bring my best next time

I now realize the joke failed because I just woke up and didn’t stop to think “they don’t know you or that you don’t have children so saying you have grandchildren is confusing and not a cheeky way of saying how long ago that feels”

So yeah. I should drink some coffee before jumping online.

Right? I have grandchildren now. So what does have to do with now

Solid thow it waaayyyyyy back jersey. Looks like a sweater and work pants. Player’s cleats should be red wing work boots.

And? And you

While also running through a fun “what if I was a fan of the ___ in an alternate universe? Would I really be happy, what would life be like?” And then it starts all over again when the other team goes up to bat, like nothing happened