I love Tetris has been shown to reduce PTSD but if I’m ever going through something and someone tells me to play Tetris, I’m gonna give them some PTSD.

I sold 1,000 tickets for my Salt Lake City shows on Jan 17-18.

I sold 600 tickets for my Boston shows on Jan 23-25

I’m currently laying in bed wondering if I’ll ever sell another ticket to my comedy shows.

… If you were curious about the status of my mental health.

#impostersyndrome

Poopy caca, peepee caca

United Healthcare reported Q3 Profit of $6.06 BILLION DOLLARS.

Man, I’d fucking die to be the CEO of a company so profitable.

Fun fact: Caterpillar wieners are amongst the least studied subject in academia.

Okay, weird crowd here so far… posted about caterpillar wieners 3 hours ago and no engagement.

Somewhere in the world is a caterpillar with the biggest caterpillar wiener and it’s sad that he has no idea

Is there anything better than another social media app?