Jesus Alou?

Boy, that's going to shake up Fantasy drafts everywhere ...

Thank you, Joe. Some people are marveling about five guys having 30-plus home runs at the All-Star break. Well, that's what happens when you start the season on St. Patrick's Day.

What a bold, fresh concept. If only Fay Vincent were alive to see this day.

As ... what?

Crowd's about what I expected ...

If I remember correctly, Hadji was an alternate nickname for Howard Johnson when he was with the Mets in the 1980s.

Where's Fastball? Where's The Presidents of the United States of America? Where's Hoobastank?

However, he's best known for playing a mercenary on the fourth episode of the short-lived NBC series "The Master" in 1984. #MST3K

Any way to incorporate a Twitter feed into that?

What was more unlikely to happen this season? Rob Manfred getting an extension, or Chip Caray getting another job broadcasting MLB?

He's afraid to throw a strike with a two-strike count.

Do you bend your right elbow a lot? Or lean on it a lot? Or do you sleep with your elbow bent? Perhaps it's cubital tunnel syndrome (ulnar nerve affected), in which case you need to refrain from bending the elbow, and perhaps sleep wearing a splint for a few weeks.

Don't settle for less than $8 million ...

Veeck As In Wreck
The Cubs of '69 by Rick Talley