I mean... Look at it. Isn't it gorgeous? I like the rosewood end-caps.

*gestures at everything* is why Jesus isn't returning his calls these days.

...and I have a delicious, festive, holiday turkey sandwich, minus the shell-out to at least ONE corporate behemoth that couldn't manage the logistics of supplying me with the sandwich I wanted.

Well, we've met in person at least once, and I remember what your voice sounds like. So if I get a call from "Chuck Wendig" and it's NOT you, I'm not going along with it.

But if somehow you did call me, I'm SO up for an apple heist!

If you're not going to read a sci-fi detective comedy narrated by a footnoting coffee-machine robot, what is even the point of being literate?

“This zany, uproarious mystery is a constant delight.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

www.amazon.com/Great-Americ...

bookshop.org/p/books/the-...

Still evil, bad, and unforgivably wrong. You get no reprieve.

I’m joining you.All I have left at this point is just looking around and vaguely gesticulating at things anyway.

This is such low hanging fruit we should just give it to them.

My faith in the ability of things to get even stupider remains unshakable.

“BuT bOTh PaRtIeS aRe tHe SaMe,” say people who are definitely paying attention to this.