you do deserve to be her mother and you are trying your best. never doubt that. 🖤

With alt.

maybe i dont trust MYSELF enough to have close friends so i am keeping it casual and communal to avoid risking fucking it up? 🤔

and maybe i should go back to therapy like i been sayin 🥴🤣 ion think i like it here 😅

or maybe i do and im just scared to open up cuz i spent so long looking critically at all my close relationships that i fear slipping back into codependent habits of mine that created the toxic dynamics in the first place? 🤔

exhausting close friends but also im a lil lonely! i got cool people in my circle, and the community i am building feels tangible, meaningful, n sustainable. but i dont feel like i can really be too vulnerable or open with anyone rn either, no one to share burdens with or just shoot the shit with :/

its hurting my heart to see i have 56% of the book left like what more could we possibly get into???? im tired 🤣