Somewhere in America a dad is saying “Hold my beer.”

Who gets stuck with the bills and custody of the nukes and Fort Knox?

I know this is satire because Trump would never say give it to Charlie Kirk, because with Trump, there’s no "Give it to" there’s only "Give it to me."

I'll laugh if The Onion revives it.

I don’t care if Trump can’t run anymore. I just want him to pass one little test… preferably the kind where they ask, "Do you hear voices, or is that just Fox & Friends?"

The choice was clear. The Democrats' leadership felt bad about Netanyahu using our bombs to destroy Gaza, while Trumpublicans said it’s all part of God’s master plan and a great opportunity for US arms dealers and developers.

Who was he apologizing to...Trump or Satan?

On social media sometimes I've disappointed or offended as many as six strangers before breakfast.

But how else was I going to easily boost the word count of my papers and give the TAs reading them an opportunity to save time while grading by skipping over those sections?

The Almighty has caller ID
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xVK...