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BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

"How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex."
See the guide in multiple languages at:
https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/

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BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 7/7

How do you know when you are clean?

If you leave the shower and get deafening intestinal growls, you are not done. Use this checklist to figure out if you are truly clean and empty:
Water smells: if it stinks, that means there’s more trapped inside. Perhaps a lot more. you are not done yet.
Mucosa: You might see clean water with traces of intestinal lining (looks like snot, slimy and icky, it’s not shit, doesn’t smell). It could indicate you’ve reached the end.
Last fart: air floats, sometimes the last thing to come out is a fart, but not always, it could just be a regular fart. don’t trust it if it smells.
Emptiness: there’s a particular feeling of emptiness and a weird cramping when you are totally clean. Learn to identify it, this skill will improve with practice.
Clean water: if a ton of water comes out after a while of being stuck, and it’s totally clear, it could signal that you are done.

Pro tips! With Hermione the Hemorrhoid.

Digital scale: Weigh yourself before getting in the shower. If you weigh more when you come out, you’ll know there’s water still inside.
Cold water: if you use colder water at the end, you’ll get mad cramps. Some people hate this! It might feel really uncomfortable, but it can hurry things along.
Eat fiber: Your diet will determine how easy it is to clean. fiber cleans your gut, Metamucil is a good supplement to try.
Every body is different: Remember to adapt this guide to what your body tells you. you might need more time or water, or less, you will learn with time and practice.

That’s it! play safe and have fun! and for heaven’s sake, soap up and rinse really well after you are done!

The End
Congrats! Go get some buttsex!

Created by Blindjaw. Feel free to share! Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial ShareAlike license.

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 6/7

There are several yoga poses that help with releasing water:
1. Reclining French Wench: Lie on your left side, left leg down, the right one bend up.
2. Sinking Lotus: Kneel down while pressing on your belly.
3. Upward-Facing Crab: On your legs and arms as if you are walking Exorcist style, your ass aiming toward the drain.

These Dance moves can help too, try them out, see what works:
1. Truffle Shuffle: shake that belly, Chunk! Shake it hard and make that colon move.
2. Squirking: push around your hole with two fingers, really fast, hole going in and out.
3. Sexy Buddha: press on your belly in a circular motion, in the direction of your pipes, clockwise!
4. Fingerpump: finger yourself (use lube), reach your sigmoid and pull it if you can.

Keep refilling yourself with water, using action to incite your bowels to move. Once things come out from the deep end, it will be messy as fuck, that’s expected. Clean your mess and repeat until the water that comes out is clear.

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 5/7

Rinse and repeat.

Fast method:
Repeat minimum of 5 times. it could take dozens of times, that’s alright. If the water has some color or smell, do it again, and again. If the water is not clear, no matter how many times you try, you probably went past the sigmoid, and now have two choices:
1) Proceed to a full cleaning, this can take an extra hour.
2) Stop. tell your butt buddy it will be oral sex only for today. Honesty is better than poopdick.
If all the water comes out sparkling, you are done! soap up, Rinse and dry. Congrats!

Full method:
If you are doing a full prep, you have some work to do... Most of the water will be trapped in the descending colon. you will feel cramping and some water will come out, but not all. There’s a lot more that needs to be evacuated. It usually takes 5 or so full, complete flushes until the water comes out clean and you are empty, but it depends on the day and the person. You need to induce cramps to push the water back out. There are easy tricks to make sure you get it all...

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 4/7

Let it go!
“The drain is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in; Heaven knows I've tried…”

it’s time to squirt your shit out. aim for the drain and don’t worry about the mess. it might take several pushes. Use the water pressure to force it all down the drain. If too solid, increase water pressure, blast it to pieces! Or squish it down like a bug with your big toe! Ewww!

This is a messy process, but it’s all coming from you. Better to make a mess in the shower than in bed.

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 3/7

Fill ‘er up!

Fast method:
Count to 5 to fill your rectum with water. Do not overfill, if you
go past the sigmoid, you are screwed. If you get water past the rectum, into the sigmoid and ascending colon, you will stir unsightly things in the deep caverns, and will have to do a full cleaning instead, lest there be surprises later while you are being cockslammed. If you are using an enema bulb, water bottle, or fleet enema, do one single charge at a time.

Full method:
Count to 30, you need to fill all the way up the ascending colon, and the transverse colon. You might feel cramping and not be able to count to 30. Just stop, relax, give it a few seconds and continue counting from where you left off. It’s important to go all the way, otherwise this will take much longer. Do around 6 to 10 full charges for bulb or fleet enemas. hold it in until the end, take your time.

And next comes the messy part…

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex
🧵 2/7

First, enjoy a good dump. Dont’ force it, take your time. Finish that novel. Don’t over-wipe, you don’t want an irritated hole. This guide focuses on the shower hose, since it’s the best tool, but the same concepts work for other tools.

Turn valve only half-way, or the pressure will sand blast your anus to pieces. Warm water, not too hot… Take the drain cover off, you’ll flush your sin down the drain, not the toilet. Don’t be a coward.

George Costanza says: It’s all pipes! what’s the difference?

Low pressure, make the stream of water about 5” tall, that’s enough. Lean tip on your hole, let the water pressure do all the work. No need to push it in! Without good lube, it can irritate your ass.

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex, an illustrated guide. All good bottoms need to know this information!
🧵 1/7

How to Clean Your Ass Before Anal Sex

Written and illustrated by Blindjaw.
There are two types of cleaning.
Fast: 10 to 30 minutes. For a quickie, to get pounded in the next couple of hours.
Full: 30 minutes to 2 hours. Long sessions, monster dicks, Bad Dragon dildoes, fisting.

Choose your weapon.
Shower hose: Buy on Amazon. control flow. Multiple nozzles.
Enema bulb: Pack it for trips. Easy to refill, clean, and hide.
Fleet enema: Dump irritating liquid first! fill with warm water.
Enema bag: Old school. Classy hipster. Slow and methodical.

Pro tip!
Hermione the Hemorrhoid says: Trapped in a hotel room with no tools? Locate a vending machine, water bottles work great! Do not screw it in, be gentle. Just lean it against your ass and squeeze. Re-fre-shing!

March 6, 2025 at 5:20 AM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

Wie reinige ich meinen Anus vor Analsex.

November 15, 2024 at 6:12 PM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

"Jak wyczyścić swój tyłek przed seksem analnym” jest już dostępny w języku polskim! Udostępnij ten poradnik, aby pomóc swoim kolegom mieć lśniąco czysty tyłek. Tłumaczył Patryk.

November 15, 2024 at 6:03 PM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

🇭🇺 "Hogyan mosd ki magad anális szex előtt" c. útmutató már magyarul is elérhető! Kérlek, oszd meg az útmutatót, hogy minél több barátodhoz eljusson a ragyogóan tiszta fenék titka ;) Fordította: gaynolds88

November 15, 2024 at 6:02 PM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

"Comment laver ton cul avant le sexe anal" est maintenant disponible en français! Partage ce guide et aide tes amis à avoir un cul étincelant de propreté. Traduit par David Disparos et l'ASBL SIDA SOL.

November 15, 2024 at 6:01 PM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

"Come Pulirti il Culo Prima del Sesso Anale!" è disponibile in Italiano! Condivi la guida con i tuoi amici per aiutarli ad avere un culo pulito e scintillante. Tradotto da Kellan_XXX.

November 15, 2024 at 5:59 PM

BlindJaw

@blindjaw.bsky.social

"Så sköljer man rent inför analsex" heter den svenska översättningen av succesajten "How to clean your ass before anal sex". Dela gärna adressen till dina vänner så fler kan njuta av anala nöjen utan otrevliga överraskningar. Översättning Alexis6y.