This is my cry for help, this is my immature shout onto social media, this is my declaration that im not okay. Because im not, im so fucking tired of waking up wishing i just wasnt here. Im so tired of thinking that no one would notice if i was gone, i just wish i felt that i did have a place here

Time and time again ive been told well make your own server make your own place for people like you and god is it so hard to do that when i cant even maintain friendships or find others who actually are like me. Its just so tiring

I feel like no matter what i do whether be myself or try to be the person others want me to be I can never fulfill the role that i should be. In such a tight knit and active community i truly feel alone, even in my own server.

I try and try and try to feel close to others or interact and i feel constantly reminded that I’m just not appealing, i dont like the same games or media or yuri/yaoi or fanfiction or even kink tastes others do, time and time again ive been made fun of for my game tastes or my sports team

I feel like whenever i stopped presenting as a full women she her and everything most people and close friends lost interest in me. It feels like im just some agender freakshow that doesnt provide anything anymore. I dont fit in anyone’s circles, im not desirable anymore, im just useless

Im going to be completely honest I just truly don’t think I have a space in this community and these circles. I feel genuinely undesirable and worthless to most, not even my art is bringing in people to chat with. This loneliness is eating away at me, its making me feel sick when im awake