Is it bad that I wanna make fun of him for badly playing a teenager whackin' it to David Bowie in *Velvet Goldmine* before pushing him into a muddy puddle? I just don't effing like the guy.

Congrats! You've done it twice, which is one more times than over half of the people who have treadmills! What's your take on kitting it out/decorating it to make it more appealing than the usual utilitarian gray/black borefest usuall seen with exercise equipment?

It'd be the soggiest, most doddering, asphalt-colored gravy affair.