Love it when someone hits my trigger multiple times even when I ask them to please stop. No wonder why I feel like I can’t share with people.

Whenever something goes wrong, even if it doesn’t really hold any importance, I’ll start going down a spiral that feels like it won’t end unless I do something drastic or cut off/break something that held importance to me. I know everything is fine and nothings wrong but my mind just blocks it out.

Every time I try to plan towards the future I think about how fucked I am with trying to save up and pay rent and just live a life. Like, what’s the point of taking a vacation if I’m just losing money by doing so and setting myself further back. It just sends me on a spiral of wishing to be ended.

My favorite thought to have when someone really angers me is what they would do if I just blew my brains out right in front of them.

Things have been weird this past month but the feelings are way different than they were for the past year and a half.

I felt very good and happy all of last week so of course it only makes sense to feel miserable along with disliking everything and distancing from everyone. YayYay!

Every time I feel like I’m mentally stable, everything comes crashing down again.

The realization setting in that you didn’t start being mentally unwell a couple of years ago, you’ve been mentally unwell for the past 12 years and just keep burying all memories involving it.

Noon on a random Spring day.

Decided I was going to walk a lot today and I set a new Personal Best.

Pictures from a trail during a trip.

Visited the Japanese Tea Garden today. Here is a photo dump.

I love the snow and it is quite uncommon where I currently live. Very happy to see some today.

Recent park visit.