Also I feel this meme crazy amounts:

Also today I was waiting for a code approval and I felt Leela's rage in this clip in my soul:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdX2...

Today I called into a meeting instead of attending. Totally a thing that people can and should do, when they need to.

and I don't feel bad about it. Legitimately. It's ok to take care of you when you need to. That's the biggest thing I am learning.

It reminds me that I need to go slow.
it reminds me that I need to ask for help.
it reminds me that it's ok to ask for accomodations.
It reminds me that there's no shame in leaning on others.
I have a bucket of baggage that makes me think otherwise, but it's ok to slow down and do things

He did some amazing things with his five years. <3 I wish It could have been so many more.

It can be 100% useful as a patient to know 'Hey don't do that, it'll damage your body' sure. But if you see me doing it twice, don't assume I just think I know better. I legit could not fix it.... and now I'm broken af.

"Hey yeah I can't flatten my foot right in this boot and I'm not sure why. so I have just been wearing it like this because it's the best I can do." Then we could work to a solution. Shame, or scolding, whatever, is often not the solution to fixing things. Curiousity leads to solutions

She's absolutely right, it won't, and it didn't, and it's a pain. BUT if she had (instead) asked "I noticed you aren't flattening your foot in the boot. is there a reason for that? It really needs to be flat to heal right." It would open an opportunity for me to say

In case you want to listen too: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gcic...

This is full on a "NOBODY CARES" moment.

(I wish I knew why I was like this and could make active moves to get better. I don't want to be like this. )

BUT IT FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELS LIKE IT.

so I am going to do some yoga and listen to Chris Hemsworth tell me not to panic (this is a real thing) and hope that I can pull my shit together to actually get something done.

Mind you: My CEO is going to be ok, the company is going to be ok. This is not a "if shit isn't done, everyone is going to be mad, and all the promises we made are going to turn into lies and I am the worst worker in all of the united states, NAY THE WORLD"

Instead of working on it, and getting it done, I am having an existential crisis/panic attack about "Who am I if my work isn't done?!"

So I'm full on Leslie Knoping over here post Harvest days.

Maybe it's my meds. Maybe it's just life. I am just struggling a lot lately

and I was like "I had work to do, I just couldn't do it because IT WAS LITERALLY ON FIRE" how is this my fault?

anyway, because I'm a lot less spicy in person, I th ink I did end up making it up or using PTO or something. It was a stupid day.