I can't keep feeling like this i can't why do I try every time I wake up it's like its just to be tortured for another 24 hours by everything and everyone why haven't I klled myself yet

fuck it man whatever

I don't wanna kill myself i just wanna fall asleep and not wake up

I can feel the anger, sadness, insecurity, everything, slowly turning back into that dejected numbing acceptance that this is all ill ever be and all ill ever feel and it makes me wanna drive my car over the edge of a bridge

like how many times will I scream and fucking cry for someone to give a shit before I learn im only hurting myself worse

like what's the point in even trying ill never be allowed to be happy for more than a day at a time before im reminded of everything that's wrong with me and how little I matter to anyone and as much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't hurt, it makes me fucking vomit every time im reminded

I feel like I'm being fucking punched and stabbed constantly it's like I'm only allowed to be happy for a certain amount of time before I have to be punished again

okay anyway

I'm genuinely considering getting myself admitted to a psych ward. I can't keep trying to k word myself every time smthn mildly upsetting happens

I should've learned my lesson with my last friend group to just keep my mouth shut

i genuinely don't know how much more of it I can take. it's no one's fault but my own i can't control this but it's so overwhelming and fucking painful dude just bc I for some reason can't just fucking fix myself lmao??

I will never be happy i don't know why I can't just accept that. I'll think I'm finally starting to get better then get reminded there's no getting better for me. I just get my impossible hopes up then get mad at others and push everyone away when I'm let down despite it being my own fault

bitches love my mustache

this time I'm

i like drawing gore a normal amount

whatever you say baby

gay