Remembered I can't grow a beard and got so angry I threw up

We are getting far too lenient with what we allow to be said in commercials. I should not have to hear the words "urethra" or "toe fungus" while I'm watching the Knicks game

I'm a big fan of this little guy

Just got kicked out of Trader Joe's for asking a girl with a Snoopy tattoo to name five Peanuts specials

you're allowed to dress like this again now that Trump is president

"I love it when rich people say my name" - overheard in Manhattan