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bigbadmonstertruck.bsky.social
ezra!
@bigbadmonstertruck.bsky.social
ff artist, lore enthusiast, chronic rambler.
he/they, 19. currently in my polyam cyberpunk era
ok rambles over enjoy take his playlist
open.spotify.com/playlist/6nA...
v
Playlist · catboy ezra · 59 items
open.spotify.com
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
he likes johnny, they banter, i just don't think they ever get close enough for v to be happy to let go and hand over the reigns. it feels like a betrayal to himself cause this body? it's his and he damned earned it. but johnny has more fight than him, deserves that second chance. he can't kill him.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
controversial take but i think that my v's canon ending will be "path of least resistance" it sucks and from the gameplay point isn't a true ending but it fits him best. his body and identity are too integral to who he is to give them up, but he doesn't have the will to live for himself anymore.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
act 2 progresses (i as a player am currently at panams quest line) v starts drinking again. he's losing his grip on the future he thought he wanted cause now its ashes and dust.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
until one day he just comes clean with it, that he cannot do this. it's about as amicable as a breakup like that gets and it hurts more than anything. he won't abandon her, but he can't hold her close anymore and he hates it.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
he lets it lie dealing with the relic and taking his mind off of it, both him and misty skirting around each other like they are afraid of what happens if they acknowledge it. course he still loves her but he's dying and he can't do that to her again. holding her at arms length so he won't hurt her
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
at jackie's funeral he reads a passage from for whom the bell tolls and stays pretty firmly cemented at misty's side. hands shaking cause goddammit he hasn't felt this scared since he was a child. he doesn't know where he's supposed to go now. jackies gone.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
they bring him into it slowly and it's good, god it's really good. this is probably the first time in v's life where he's actually content.
and then. act one, the heist and all that follows.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
and it comes rushing to him all at once, this is love.
they don't really establish anything, it's never announced or made a big deal of that v is part of the relationship now. it just is, which v really prefers he really didn't want a huge fuss about the entire thing.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
its not going to happen v, he tells himself. until it does, the confession is a quiet thing, the three of them at v's apartment until all of a sudden he finds himself squished between them on the sofa fingers laced with misty's and his head resting against jackie's chest.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
v develops a very healthy interest in tarot (something that is still there in the later acts he goes back to misty for readings a bunch) which brings him and misty closer. dang she's really nice....really like her. and just like that v has fat crushes on both of his closest friends.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
but v doesn't really give a shit, course it hurts a bit cause he's falling for jackie all over again fucks sake, but it's neither of their faults and he's happy to see them happy. it's a consequence of him leaving. anyway these 3 spend so much time together it's ridiculous.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
and the 6 month montage continues as planned. although the time apart amd v's complete ghosting created a wedge between him and jackie, they still fall easily into something of a rythmn. anyway cue v realising he's falling in love. and oh look! misty is back! jackie and her are definitely dating now
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
so now he's surer of himself than ever and heads home to heywood. the prologue. the only thing id mention is that he isn't recognised, post transition v looks so different from pre transition v that his nc friends know. until he finally cracks at the welles' dinner table and spills the truth.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
but it's so obvious, from his mannerisms and his dissatisfaction with what all this amounted to, that he doesn't fit in atlanta. he doesn't fit in the average civilian life. so he thinks that maybe it wasn't nc that was wrong for him, it was him that needed to change for nc.
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
in an effort to refind himself. to be fair to him though, it kind of works. in those two years he's no street kid he's just some ordinary person with an ordinary job working at a food stand. but hey, it gives him the space, time and money to transition. this v is now a man!
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
but my v has the emotional understanding of a solid brick wall. he keeps asking the welles what he can do to repay them both, but mama welles tells his ass off and says that living is enough.
and this? this isn't living.
so he packs for atlanta and cuts all ties (BECAUSE HES A GONK)
April 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM