Oh fuck. Holy fuck. It's beautiful in here." said the only other customer in the donair shop that used to be a Quiznos. "WHAH?", yelled the guy working there. "It's fuckin beautiful in here bro. Way nicer than your other location."

For reference, it looks a lot like a Quiznos. Just more run down.

For years, I've told people about the time I made out with my sister's Brazilian friend, whose name was Blanka, like the Brazilain monster from Street Fighter. Only recently did someone say, "That can't be true."

I called my sister to fact-check my memory. Her name was Danielle.