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🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

[ kal/ryan/nick, he/they/it, 21+, white ] [ personal account where i ramble and share the things i create at my leisure ] [ current fixation: bg3 ]

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🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

call me the oc yapper the way i can't stop talking about naberius.

ok completely different topic now. i may make another character... my brain has been teasing a possible friend for naberius when he was taken in by his grandfather.
he wouldn't be the only child at the monastery.
finger guns. my brain cant help but make supporting characters

ouhhhhhhh had another idea; what if naberius at the monastery, behind his grandfather's back, would actually give into his nature to kill via small animals because it feels better than meditation.
is this an addiction allegory. i feel like if im smart i could write it so.
thus the more he indulges, the more his very being yearns for much greater carnage.
also i think the more he represses it, the worse that "urge" is harder to control.

hm i feel like those two sentences contradict each other (im tired) but i think i mean. it starts with small things. but small animals can't always satisfy him completely. taking a person's life however... it gets all the more tempting.

I'm thrinkin that he just starts... working up to the massacre. hell maybe he actually kills his "friend" before he kills everyone else.

the difference is, it isn't the urge. it's him making that choice. his body isn't forcing him. however i think he still weeps because he doesn't know why he's this way, so he cries bc of his confusion.
i think i like the buildup more than it being sudden
bc it feels good ! why should he repress it ! why should he deny it !

tbf at this point his grandfather was getting stricter. there's a point where naberius couldn't control himself when seeing a bird. his grandfather pinned him down until he tired himself out. naberius managed to bite his grandfather's arm.

so. um. yeah jghfgfg :]

reading my messages, and thinking about it. i really do like that slow buildup. i think i like it more when it's not "he's a monster bc he can't control himself" it's "he's a monster bc he chooses to be"
i think it's a little of both, especially in certain circumstances (alfira, kicking the squirrel, possibly when he killed his parents), but he indulges in it. when he's presented with a choice, he usually does the bad one. KJSAHJHSD
he regains his control because of him indulging in it.

November 16, 2025 at 2:46 PM

🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

doing naberius' fuck ass tattoos (some of it will be my own interpretation; i've such a cooler idea for the giant center skull). im kinda proud of the teensy skull i drew and copy/pasted along w the bones KJHSfdf

November 16, 2025 at 1:40 AM

🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

i dislike him. (this is so fun i love drawing bodies why don't i do this more often)

November 14, 2025 at 7:33 PM

🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

ok trying something new out by doing thick outlines. this is kinda fun ngl

November 12, 2025 at 7:04 PM

🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

(part 2) it was a temporary solution, his grandfather knew that. but he had to do what he could for a child that was simply confused. :')

November 8, 2025 at 4:52 PM

🕸️🕷️ kal/ryan 🦑🪱

@bhaalistleathers.bsky.social

(part 1) just a few unedited screens (i have WAY more),,, gonna add dialogue to it. naberius' foster grandfather tried his best to help him, knowing what he was and what he'd done already. naberius had to meditate often, channeling his ki to dampen his nature.